I am here

Sometimes we forget how important is what we see or do now. Not in the past not what is before us but now…

We stopped being just okay with this what we have.

Appreciate what we have.

Play with what we have…

We look for more, we need more or we think so…

But maybe we do not?

Maybe we just do not give ourselves enough time to be amaze by what we achieved?

We rush, rush and rush…

Quicker than time.

This is why I never feel the time when I take photos… when I breath in everything I rush because the light changes…

The only reason.

Plants, flowers, herbs…

Everything is just an intrigue beauty…

This is why my Familiar often just sits…. and waits. LOL

And sometimes…

And sometimes I keep coming back to one place, with no idea why…

I am checking it over and over again, feeding on this energy which my body seems to need and I have no idea why.

Still…

No idea, but I do it.

I need it.

Like there was a piece of me which needs to be recharged…

But still, I do not want to live here forever…

Or maybe one day I will change my mind and stop being the witch of this island?

Maybe?

Who knows?

There was a time when I thought this island is everything for me… but I was wrong. Or maybe I was right for that time, I am just constantly changing?

Because a change can be good too… though not often.

At least for me.

I mean…

I mean

“When I say party

I mean trees

sand

rocks

fields

empty paths

birds

the sky

rain

wind

sun

bottle of water

a snack

paper

books

notes

funny shape rock

or branch

or…

more…

birds watching

clouds counting

painting

writing

stones choosing

plants drying

being…

breathing

dreaming…” Ch. J.

February

I can not believe January is over…

This new year runs like on meds, some good meds or just… well…

Maybe this way I will be quicker here… in Tanum.

Where the beach touches tiny islands.

When it is so salty… oh my, there was a year when this saltines was burning.

Here, in Scandinavia, if you have problems with how you look, remember, it does not matter, nobody cares.

People bath naked.

Not everywhere of course, in chosen spots, bit more hidden, but still, they do it. It is normal… especially on my island. Seeing a pair of elderly beings just having fun brings me joy and hope for future.

Because they are free… and we… well, often I see young people struggling in being with themselves, attached to phones, unable to just play in water because: how will it look? Someone will record me…

Yeah…

Come on, jump, live!

People have different shapes and time is running like crazy… catch what you have. Enjoy the moment, or just take a nap, listen to yourself… but be quiet if there is a lot of people, they may want it everything a bit more peaceful. Or just ask if you can maybe just have fun, maybe they will join you?

Maybe… sometimes a smile wins everything.

Forget

Forget

“To forget

that smile

a moment

a person

that dress

his hands

her hair

eyes

sky

the rock

the building and the tree

some buses

trams

stockings

sand and warmth

books

words

hitting your face

those stairs

those walls…

crowds

sounds

lack of luck

and lust…

It is healing.” Ch. J.

The Flower Letters… almost handmade?

Okay, it is a bit complicated, because it is handmade and is not fully… in one time. Is created but printed, so handmade or not?

I mean, we have a small company, a couple in fact, who opened a cute business of sending letters all over the world – I had such idea years ago, to send them from my island but prices here, oh my. Letters which are like books, like stories but of course are printed, like, they design them but not make them… sooo, is it handmade? For me it still is. Come on. I do not make canvases too… only because my hands are too poorly, not because I do not want to…

But…

PAGE

INSTAGRAM

FACEBOOK

I love letters.

I love epistolography… to be honest I grew up with it. When I was a kid we had those letters with addresses of young people from all over the world and we could write to them. Oh my, it was sometimes a month waiting for a replay but in the world of no internet and social media it was like touching another realm. And to be honest those letters are also something like that. You meet people, meet those around them and… get into those stories… I started from Nora Aven Collection, for Jul I ordered myself Adelaide Magnolia one and can not wait how it will be… started of course last year and letters come every two weeks. You get 24 letters which in fact are not only envelopes with printed bits but also have tiny stickers, messages, cuts of newspapers etc.

I am waiting for them like…

I mean snow.

Hear that anticipation, feel it!

Every collection has its own flowers, design, beautiful stories, and what is the most important when the designers – Michael and Hannie Clark, create it – they go to places they describe. Maybe even have a Tardis to travel in time, no idea, but… well, have my thoughts. LOL

If you want to gift someone something special, I think this is something unique. Maybe even will develop someones need in writing to regular people, there are tones of us in SM who love letters. I mean, it is old fashioned, it is sometimes crazy but still, it is so much different than just social media.

So much personal.

PS. Not sponsored as always. If I ever be sponsored, I will tell ya! And yes, it is not cheap, but remember you pay for 24 letters.

Not for one thing. Under are photos of few letters, so you can see how it looks like, they come every 2 weeks. Usually. Depends on post, to be honest…

Souvenirs

Okay… guilty.

Yes, I buy souvenirs.

Sometimes those generic, crazy ones like mugs and magnets, and of course I do write cards and send them. Or just keep something really special and yes, there is a poop… real moose poop in a cute tiny jar.

But… candles are my obsession. Sorry, could afford only tiny size. Nope, will not burn it!!! No way! Smells like the woods!!! And is named so… and as Fjall… mountains or a place between the rocks…

What I am not no more… sorry for it.

Just do not sorry.

And yes, I do love to buy from artists, but truly, I can not afford it usually…

But most of all I bring a piece of rock, broken branch, sap or…

Just photos.

Feelings…

Oh, and that sea was so salty in 2021…

So salty!

And everything was so hot…

Time

Time

“Do you

still remember

that time

when fields were so tall

when a humid evening

called for a stormy night

when winter was winter

spring was just a spring

everything had its own moment

you

me

trees…

Do you remember

poppies and cornflowers

all thoughts and reams

being yourself

caring

running away

hiding…

Because it should not be so hard

to find herbs

poppies and cornflowers

wheat

bugs

meadows and woods

paths hidden

but still somehow

opening if you knew

the password…

love.

Peace and quiet

so now unfancy…

just like me.

Do you remember…” Ch. J.

Me? My time…

Me me me…

Recently it is all I hear, all I see in social media and I am truly avoiding them, so it has to be a lot of that stuff. Me, myself, my time, finally getting it that if you do not take care of yourself, none will do it for you. You must be the person who know yourself the best. Not some kind of coach, you!

But… I am also not getting this “ME” trend.

Why?

Well, this is somehow obvious.

Mostly because it is what I breath for, being alone, myself. I thought it is a normal life, but nope, so I went through running from home, then being trapped in a fable, somebody else fable, and all the time, all the time… put by others into the drawers which did not fit me, only others mattered…

Well, all that time I was only thinking about being alone, finally, in nature… but not lonely, I had me… myself, all the time. And when I figured out I can loose it it hit me, that I could not live without myself.

Yes a lot of this time is alone… alone but not lonely.

With myself.

But this new culture of ME. This truly scares me. Because it is not about developing yourself, helping those who were raised by churches, abused, trapped in cults… nope, it is only about ME, everything must be for ME, my traumas broke ME – I am finding new traumas all the time, this is my life, colorful books, sentences… visible, loud so everyone should notice them and listen and take care of my path and in fact, me me me… you know what I do often when I am alone, well, I am silent. Sometimes I do talk to myself, especially when I am trying to work something out but usually I am silent, or I have music in my ears or just am…

… and am working.

To be honest it is just different from others lives because I have none by my side. I have no friends. But only because for me the definition of friendship is huge and deep. Does not mean people who get me who I met online. But to be honest, recently I was like… well, I was faced with so called normal life and I can truly and strongly admit, that I am just not a human being and homo sapiens sapiens…

Really.

I do not party, do not go to restaurants, I do not need someone to talk to, do not buy tone of stuff, do not like crowds… I really need people only when I need a doctor or something to be fixed, what I can not do. I mean, for me this is normality and I get it, doctors told me I am unfixable… I do not care about social media, I do not follow celebrities and not care what they are wearing. Sometimes this world touches me and I am surprised but it is like watching another world.

Some different planet… really.

How I know that?

Well… recently my Familiar…

… also known as my Husband, said, for 100th time ever: you are not a human. It was when I asked why they do it… and truly I do not remember what was it. I sometimes do it, I ask those questions, still, they just jump out of me… well, this is why I am a weirdo. Luckily trees and rocks do not care.

Okay, for you all I am strange, for myself, this is normality to take care of myself, but also to take care of nature of those I love. To write letters and cray cards for those who need a smile, but not hug them… To leave tiny notes but not kisses… just to be in my bauble but spreading something from it. Not farty, come on! LOL

I try to be smallest, not to bother others with my self…

But this Me culture is something what seems for me so violent…

… and it should not… it is so selfish not just smart. It is harsh and when to ME cultures collide, well, there will be an explosion.

Moose time 7

I mean… okay, it is a lot…

I mean a lot of moose.

But they are so smart, so much wisdom in those huge eyes… or in the reverse when they wash their legs? I mean… why?

And then all of the sudden they watch you an you feel tiny.

And naked…

Like in those weird dreams!

This young beauty…

This more adult not caring…

At all.

I mean, come to Ed in Sweden.

It is worth all those kilometers. Unless you live close, close to that loooong lake and… and of course cliffs.

I mean, spoiler alert, I came back…