Renting, buying?

I mean, when we travel I always love\prefer to rent a house.

It always teaches me something but also… yeah, I love to peek!

I mean I am a bit noisy!

I wanna see the architecture of another place, smell the difference – can be stinky… of course I choose the save way of renting…

Always.

I can not afford changes but… there is also something what I can feel and it may make me discover more about everything I knew.

Every place I rented, every place we bought was… special. Somehow every one of them and there was many, I mean, I started as a kid and still miss some of them, still am scared of few…

Truly.

But this white cottage we rented in Fjällbacka was somehow a huge escape – twice now… no internet…

… the rock so close to the house…

And the house.

So… like home but somehow so empty.

And that iron to protect the living in… This place was created to be rented… like a belly just being fed up and removing the stuff from the inside…

But… somehow, I would love to make it my home.

A home abroad…

It is autumn

In Scandinavia autumn starts with September.

Shops close… same is on my island.

The season ends…

… people are more rare and the sweet air, chilly, oh, so nice… and windy is back…

But the drought on my island is still present, there, where those photos were taken, it was a bit different.

Not much rain but still, much more than on my island.

And I enjoyed it.

Slowly…

Valuing every moment.

Being just there, not anywhere else.

Just…

Being.

The world recently seems like only problems. Taxes, food, drought… war. I am lost in my own world, how can I got more? Even much more? I do not push myself to get all the info about the world far away from me, though it impacts even my little island… I am trying to fix my own life.

This is all I can do.

All I am learning how to do…

In the dry land

In the dry land

“In the dry land
shadows bloom
hopes are lost
dreams gone

no water
no cry
no tear
no snot

there once was
a smile
some hope
now not

there once was
a someone
few words
few whispers

there once was
just a thing
then everything
was gone…

In the dry land
is only a sculpture
it once was a human
now it is
just a past being…

In the dry land
only shadows sing…” Ch. J.

Saw it again…

I mean…

I was off… I was so off as I have never before.

And now, coming back to the laptop is for me painful, just painful.

Those 10 days were like…

… finally figuring out that I do not like the internet, hate social media… yeah, I post things but I do not watch them.

I never liked it but not being there mean being nowhere and looking for a job is much harder if you do not have those…

I was lying on the rocks, looking at the sunset, listening to strange sounds of the sea hitting them and…

I could swear, wait, I was sure there were beings, looking at me and thinking: what the heck is that?

LOL

And there was that magical sunset again…

And weather forecast saying: windy and rainy.

Yes, I did put it on my Instagram… just because, I love take photos – oh, the irony.

And it was worth that moment of touching that different world again…

I still do not know what to do, how to do it, I love writing but communicating is for me harder, each day it seems to be harder. Maybe none needs it. Me, you? Maybe it is a perfect time to leave but… I was working on this blog for over 10 years… so much work, passion, photos, words, pictures, ideas…

I was there few days ago, those photos are from 2021… but this time, I had to kick myself to come back home, to my island… maybe it is truly a time to change. Change fully, bigger? But again… come on, I am old!!! LOL

Simple

It is so simple…

… you just find what you like…

Not the social media telling you, you should like…

And stay there, for a moment, and hide from others or take those you want close with you. Simple.

So simple.

Soooo…

Why for so many it is too hard?

Too hard to be you and liking being you and if you need a change, you can always do it. Small change for a start!

Start.

Like now, do not wait… change the way you think, check the little blooms around… breath, throw away clothes you hate… remake them…

Be finally… be you.

When the stars die…

When the stars die…

“None hears

when they die

they do not fall down

they just fall

in the light of a day

and none sees

their light

colors

bright shine

none hears

them screaming

singing last lullabies

none cares

when they fly

somewhere

to the other world

somehow

to the other dimension

they fall

and keep falling

watching the world

having fun

never touching

the souil

always being somewhere else…” Ch. J.

And here I am…

And here I am…

Here again.

I mean in this place, end of the world, none around… okay, my Familiar is here but except him… do I sell a soup?

Come on!

I am trying to be spiritual here!!!

LOL I am spiritual even when a smell of weirdly Asiatic kitchen comes to me on the Northern Sea.

I am!!!

Come on, sit by me, look, there are rocks poking out from the sea and nothing more…

Oh wait, there is a sunset too…

And windy it is.

But also fascinating.

You can just and only be here.

And it is enough.

Listen to the sea, gently whispers and some weird noises, but not to be afraid, come on!!! Breath… there are other spirits around.

And then…

It is like some kind of revelation…

You come to a place, where something was calling you, or someone… you had no idea how it will be, how it looks like, you only knew it is the seaside…

And then, all of the sudden, it is yours.

Or you are a place to belong to.

Or…

I do not know, it happened to me few times, I think it was not the last one.

Maybe?

I mean it is like it welcomes you but also wants to… inhale you.

You are welcomed, but can not be sure if not as a dish.

This is a very weird feeling, unusual.

Scary but also… somehow, I think I got used to it…

Or maybe not?

Maybe it is always new. Always something fresh and thrilling.

That place

There is such spot, I mean…

… in Sweden, if it is for you, you can find it… or find a similar one… but for me it is THAT spot…

Where I feel full and empty.

Weirdly myself and scared crow.

Home and in prison…

Save and lost, attacked and… I just feel everything there.

Every emotion is present there.

It may be confusing, but in fact… such spots can make you truly vulnerable and truly yourself.

Feeling it all is just too much so there comes a moment when you just know, know what to do, how to do it, where to go, how to make first step.

Or when to…

… just stop.

Lovely place.

Unique one…

For others nothing, for me… life.

Answers.

I don’t wanna learn

I don’t wanna learn

“I don’t wanna to learn
how to play that instrument
let it for me still be magick
forever maybe
because when I learn how to play
I will loose it
that illusion
that something
unspoken bit
I will know
can and…

I don’t wanna learn
how to
make this or that
kinds of art which look so easy
which seem to be so simple
that
for me they are more enough
to feel joyful illusion of life…

and I want this feeling now
I need this veil
to cover it
from my eyes
not forever

to keep it away
maybe
only until
I change my mind…

I want…
I choose…
choose sometimes to

not know…” Ch. J.