Malmö

Here is Malmö… again.

Because after all this rush, I mean really, no offense but I am done with all those information. One day we are a remote, forgotten island…

And then…

But it was the time when you could be in Sweden…

No masks.

Yeah…

And that amazing green beauty… Glasvasen

It is the kind of diversity in architecture, I love.

Old and new reflecting old…

But I also love this.

Truly.

Especially when it is so soothing…

So cute.

And belongs to to the street…

No regrets

I do not regret.

The lessons… teachings, though they could be less painful.

And some things were too obvious… like crying on a bicycle or crying in a car…

You know…

I tried this year everything I could.

Really.

I was unstoppable. And yes, it was 2020!

But I love isolation… self distancing…

Not the pandemic.

And now, when we are a closed island again… I am grateful for my pills.

Yeah.

Because I know sometimes you got to know whee your pills are. When it comes to pain, physical or mental…

Sometimes…

You got to know.

I want travels, money, books, woodlands, abilities and drugs… and… yeah, all for 2021. Just because. I need to take care of myself.

The museum

I come here as often as I can, but this visit was different…

This visit was… only me and art. Old house full of stories and dreams, whispers and weird sounds… though, it is a museum, sooo…

Yeah, it is a museum, but in the time of pandemic I managed to visit it with almost nobody around me!!!

And it was so special.

Of course I am talking about Oluf Høst museum… a special place which somehow managed to keep the soul of the artist still breathing, spreading creativity and joy… and other times also cookies and beverages.

And there was some new-old bits!!!

Sooo…

It is done, right?

After Jul.

Come on, 2020 is ending and people are like, it will be better, new year etc…

And I am depressingly not seeing it.

Nope. Not even a sparkle of hope in me.

Nope…

It sucks, though, maybe living without hope is also a living?

Maybe…

To be honest… I still did not got over photos of this year… not that it was so interesting, though… maybe it was?

Maybe there is something we do not notice?

Totally?

PS. I want that lamp. LOL

And the sign.

And maybe a wall… look how cool it is. In fact it was one of the shops here in Gudhjem. They redo the old house and changed the walls into this arty fart piece. Oh my, Instagramer dream!!!

Come on, look at it.

And the light.

Fuck the changing year, we are breathing, so we are going. Kick those joyful people and just stick to your gloominess.

It is okay!!!

Grateful…

Be grateful because if not…

Yeah… what would you do?

Will you push me? Will you force me to feelings which are not inside of me? Or maybe you will finally step by my side and see… the truth. That funny photos, colors, and all that stuff is a huge lie?

Maybe?

Or maybe…

Just give a go or let it go… Something different. You will see how I am struggling with not saying everyone I have never been happy. Yeah… my brain says: no such option, software error, no human inside…

It can wait…

But I can not, can I? I got to hurry. Everything got to be on time!!!

Fighting this my whole life.

I can not stop, because if I do… I do not know what will happen, maybe I will loose control over everything, which I in fact do not have, sooo… how the heck crazy my life is? How boring and simple to be honest, but also hectic and fucked up? But you do not know me, still you claim I am not grateful, and you know what, maybe I am not? I do not feel it… maybe sometimes when I touch the old trees? But then fear comes, because I know the humanity sucks so much, sooo…

I need to hurry…

But what for?

For whom?

Do I need that hurry, do I really? Maybe just for exercises and nothing more, just run little witch, run, run, and then… pant…

I hate the word GRATEFUL. Truly. It is so Christian like, so empty, so washed out like FRIEND or even LOVE. Friends on Facebook, Instagram, oh my, such a joyful group… one lie… two lies… magpies, pie, eyes…

Do not tell me what I should feel.

I will not smash you with my sweet darkness.

Loneliness

I mean loneliness…

Or more like not loneliness, because you always have yourself.

And nobody can tell you not to have imaginary friends.

Come on!

Have them!

I mean really… or just try to look deeper in yourself and find something new. New ability maybe… new skill?

Be interesting for yourself.

For sure you can.

Or maybe you never tried just being…

Being with yourself?

Truly and fully?

I mean really.

Have you ever just sit and talked to you? Have you?

Maybe there is so much more in you… so much more to discover, so much more interesting, intriguing?

Art of advertising

Walls, windows…

I love the walls, I am fascinated by them, but windows… They are magic. You never know if you are looking through the glass or they are looking at you.

It is always something I overthink…

Like this… art of advertising? Or just a social thing. You know, the government being so concerned… though… I do not know why it bugs me. I saw it on my Facebook feed and clicked. Something I do not do often. More like never, still… come on, it is a bit generic? Or maybe it is too much hygge?

What do you think?

I am aware we all know it is all about. It needs no words. Look, we changed into emoticons!!! We did. We are done as a civilization! People suddenly are not only angry but scared of each other.

Suddenly your main thing is: where is my mask?!

Suddenly…

Fear, depression, loneliness. It is, especially now, when all those happy commercial are jumping all around, hits us. Easter without family was okay. But Christmas for many is THAT time. One and only. I am aware the whole world has different must and mustn’t. Other problems, but I am like… still… why everything everywhere, when a lot of people lost their jobs, is all but buying.

Yes, it can be comforting, addicting…

Though, dear government, maybe there is a moment to rethink that?!

We are the emojis. We are all those figures from ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs.  And we even do not need mouth… except Sweden. There you still can not wear a mask. And to be honest, looking at our, Danish statistics… well, I see no difference. Wait, it is worst here… no words. I am only an archeologist, artists and a woman. You know what guys say, I probably I am on my period.

Yeah…

Weird times…

Arecibo

Yeah… Arecibo Observatory is not there anymore.

To be honest a news which just did not even appear between huge boobs, bums, scandals, celebrities, Black Friday, Black Week, Month, sell, buy buy buy… and already turned off part of science… such a part of science was dying…

So many discoveries.

Have you ever watched “Contact”? It is from 1997…

Or maybe a part of The X Files… you did not? Yeah, well. Even though I am an archeologist, there was a time in my life when I struggled between becoming a physicist and archeologist.

You know, always wanted to discover something in quiet.

Always wanted a science, though not to harm living…

Sooo…

Arecibo in fact was on my mind for a very long time. If you wanna see photos, read how it ended, well, Google. There is everything, though we sadly noticed, few of us, that there is no more curiosity in the human kind anymore. There is only “cancel culture” and depression using in all the matters which are not even close to it, so people who really struggle are put in one drawer. Suddenly you disagree and hear: you can not talk to me like this, this is offensive… Erm… WTF?

I just said I do not like wearing orange!!!

Humanity, wake up, let your mind fly to the stars for a moment. Research, maybe let one tear drop… for a place which was meaningful.

And also, amazing piece of human possibilities, days ago…

Erichsens Gaard 9

And last bits…

It was really lovely, I hope to come back!

Maybe not for the insides, too many spirits.

But the garden and these doors… oh yes.

That was a bit creepy!

Especially with this doll.

I run away!

Sorry, but the past can be too heavy…

Though soo cute!!!

Maybe not in this area… oh my this room was creepy… if you want to summon some demons, just come here!!! LOL

Truly…

I have too many in me.

LOL

Bye… for now.

Being a witch…

I am a witch…

… always have been, but as a kid, I was more like running away and not caring about being framed into some shape…

I was free.

Thinking and seeing things, but also, I have learned very quickly to not say everything I think or see, feel… people do not like those who are always right. To be honest, I hate being right too! I mean, imagine you know something and then… and then watching people you warned, following their path… because this is called freedom. They take freedom from us women…

… recently like always…

And then…

Oh yes, those people being pissed at you because you dared to be right, human, woman and a kid… in those days…

Soooo…

I learned what is good for me.

No people.

Only this one, familiar. Herbs, stones, in fact not those expensive ones, no… those which I feel. Same with things… some are triggers. Some are bad. Some are even evil in my inside… somehow they are not mine, they are full of energies, or whatever you wanna call it… see, in the old days, when I had all those grandmothers around me, there were no such words. There were spirits. Animism. Simple stuff, though… witchcraft is in fact different because every witch is different.

I am the one of darkness, snow, dancing in cold, being glad of gloominess… I am that one which is the weirdest. Not the happy, colorful one. Oh no… if I could, there would be long, dark, feathered veil following me…

We are all one and are not one.

We can combine powers but still… none can force us.

None.