Old wife’s tale… Light.

I mean…

I hate summer.

To be honest I always have.

Somehow like vacations, being only around so called family, was never my thing sooo, I truly fall in love with winter. Deep darkness, tones of snow, freezing weather creating fairy tale like creations… I mean, winter was always like me… and autumn. Like they were two sides of the same coin, my coin… Me coin? But spring and summer. Yeah, of course I do get the feeling of rebirth but I do not like it. I do not need it. And summer which is so loud so light, full of light, spreading light like…

There was only light and rush.

Nope, not my fable.

Now, during the winter time I cherish this darkness which here, on this island can be true, so true, like, there is sometimes no light at all… there is a true darkness, you can see the moon, stars, maybe far away on the sea, one or two dots, but the darkness of the night is full and true. Thick and real. The gloominess of the day, for me, can be so refreshing and somehow I do have much more than during summer, the energy to work and create, now, when it is cold, wet and grey.

But when you create you may need light…

I know.

But still, I never use “big lights”. I prefer tiny lamps in the corners of the room, I prefer fairy lights and candles, oh yes, fire…

… mmmmhmmm yummy fire.

Those tiny breaks of light do not destroy my calming shadows… my not bright aroundness. If only the sun appears I feel… bad. Worse. I feel confused. I am not myself though I know I should use it… to plant bulbs, work in the garden, to pretend that I am a normal, semi normal, person… but when I talk about depression and hear: the sun can help you, I just laugh and nod… because people do not understand how can you choose darkness over the light. Maybe this is how I do not get they need other people and I…

Well, do not.

Moose time 6

And I mean…

Okay…

I mean they are amazing.

And those eyelashes!

Come on, is it Maybelline? Not that I know anything about it…

LOL

It is amazing that I could just sit on a path an look at him…

Did he care, I do not think so. I even think not at all!

And yes, there was a small pond with water, you know, it was warm in Ed (Sweden) those days…

They so teach me to not care that someone is looking and judging…

Smart beasts!

But those legs!

Come on!

WOW

Magic of the sea

Learn of the magic of the sea.

It is calming but can be harsh, hides secrets but sometimes… also lets them out, and it can be tricky to find skeletons on the beach… because there is so many of them. Or not. I am not saying that skeletons are everywhere but come on, we are made of the bones of our ancestors, however creepy it may sound, this is the truth.

Simple…

But the sea…

It has so many moods and faces. So many secrets, stories and is unpredictable although also can be calm and so salty. I mean, come on. Saltiness changes, of course but still, it is sometimes like a thick soup. Dead Sea… for example.

Or North Sea 2 years ago.

Also it has monsters.

Smaller an bigger.

You may be surprised how many of them live there… and how many in fact is not monsters is only misunderstood.

With every wave and ripple it changes but also stays the same. Changes the coast but also brings something new. Takes away trees, branches, rocks and sand, everything what can be moved, and water is patient. Very patient though sometimes you doubt it look those huge waves, movements, storms. Harsh, windy weather, rains… those ships and boats. And people. People who understand the sea so easily. Who live by the sea, who can easily say how it will look like next day and another one…

… who can sail, swim, treat it as a path.

So many gods very name sea gods so many beings living there, not only mermaids but also, especially here, still people talk about sea people, who in fact look mostly like us only have different hands and feet and faces a bit smoother… listen to old sea people, with beards and pipes what they have to say. Listen to the sea… get into the blue softness even when it is cold. It can be so refreshing.

Offering even a rebirth.

But always be careful.

Be careful because the sea is also needy… it loves to take people for itself. Just because. Because there is something we for sure do not get… The sea is the power and one of the elements… you can see it only as a water but you can also look deeper. And feel it. Notice that when you come closer, ripples become more closer to you, come more often, they fluctuate, they wanna touch you, welcome you, they want you…

Or… is it only me?

Magic of the sea, for me, mostly is a cleansing one.

I come there when I need to refresh my tools, or clean up the new. Or clean up myself, my body, mind… I just come and feel invited even when the wind is beating me with it’s feasts of air… I come there to offer my pain, and it takes it away, and my hopes and dreams to make them bigger, to water them…

Because here with this sound, more silent or loud, everything is both ethereal and stone solid. So solid. And that sand, rocks, and… more more more…

Woodland runes

I hear you the woods…

I hear those whispers, I notice stories, I start to mumble those songs I heard…

I hear you.

I see the runes… of the leaves and roots, shadows and lights.

Like it was a language I have always knew though…

I try to act surprised…

I try and you laugh with your branches an needles with sap and rocks.

I know it.

It is my normality… well known you could say…

And sometimes you still surprise me.

You still manage to…

Teach me more.

Moose time 5

Moose and volvo…

Yeah, this was the first thing which we got to know… that the most evil creature, the only one able to handle a moose is… a volvo.

Okay, a car, any car, any machine… but still, this is Sweden.

Weird joke.

Now… without overthinking, just look at this fur.

It is so soft!

I checked.

And I watched them for hours…

No idea why.

Done my reading too.

Okay…

Well… this is useful. Very! I mean… if I ever make this dream about cottage in Sweden, my cottage, I will know…

Moose time 4

I mean…

What can you say seeing them?

What more except… awww…

Like some dumb bimbo.

I never had an idol, like a musician… you know, like normal people…

Never.

Yes, there are writers who I love like Pratchett or Tolkien but…

Well, they have few things in common.

Being dead is one of them, sadly but… come on!

I wanted to ask moose some questions but then I was like… why to waste the time… just look at them.

Feed them…

And feel fat… come on, look at those legs… Victoria’s Secret models for sure are jealous! I mean…

I can finally hear…

I can finally hear…

“I can hear myself
through the rain and wind
through the storm
names kissing the stones
stones changing
rocks
stories climbing
whispers
of the fallen leaves…

I can finally hear myself
looking at the sea
sky
trees
and clouds
feeling the crystals and metals
inside…

… through the fire
air and stone
bad and good
loud and quiet…

I can finally hear myself
because I know
loosing myself
making it quiet
forgotten
disappearing

is the worse
can happen.” Ch.J.

Moose time 3

I mean…

I cried…

I cried when I saw them for the first time.

It was so emotional.

So weirdly emotional… and for so many people they are just animals, you know, bothering creatures…

Though… are they so normal, boring, regular?

They are so soft…

You would think they will be aggressive, but except mating time they are just… big softies.

Or maybe not?

They can watch you… those huge eyes… oh my, like they were tickling your soul with those eyelashes.

You can feed them in Ed but only if they want to.

It is sooo… normal.

From one side you feel safe and can meet them and the other is that you are not hurting them. And it is important to first get the knowledge.

To let two worlds meet and touch.

Come on, look at this one…

I mean they can be so funny. So… every one has such personality and all you have to do is watch, if you can.

Observe and learn from them.

How to just let go, give up sometimes or how to scratch the skin from your antlers. Oh my, messy view.

Moose time 2

Hello 2023.

Not that I have great hopes but have my list of dreams sooo…

Work them out.

No bullshitting like through… well, last few years…

Look at them, I want more!

More!!!

And nope 2023, I do not want to become a moose, I just want a place, home, cottage in the place you know where…

Where rocks are, and I could travel to all those ancient spots and do my research and write, create, work…

I mean… look he nods!

I am such an easy being.

Give me cold, trees, roof, books, tea, and I am alive.

Oh… and those beasts?

Amazing an cute? There will be more… believe me! Trust me… or more like, come on, I know what I want, what I do not want, sooo… I am clearly put up together, though I am not, soo… oh my, see another year already messes with my head.

Moose time

I mean, I dream about seeing them, come on, I live so close to Sweden and nothing until two years ago… an outrage, right? But even if the population of them got larger and laws are… well, I look at them from another point of view, from another place, another everything, sooo…

I just… two years ago I opened some kind of brochure and…

There it was.

And advert of a Moose Farm.

In fact a woodland where they live… simple. And yes, there is a hand… hand of a wonderful human being who is… a lot like a moose.

I am sure they think he is a part of their ecosystem.

And…

Oh yes, feeding time… you can do it, you do not have to, they can just say no… I mean moose decide!

You learn here how they walk, how they “talk”, how they feel wind…

You were fascinated and now… I was just crying…

Like some soapy creature.

And yes, they somehow want your attention. Come on, no kissing… oh well, they always sneeze on me! Always. And those big eyes, eyelashes… I mean, they are so amazing, so friendly though royal… sooo…

Oh, there will be more…

PS. Place is… Dalslands Moose Ranch in Ed