Grateful…

Be grateful because if not…

Yeah… what would you do?

Will you push me? Will you force me to feelings which are not inside of me? Or maybe you will finally step by my side and see… the truth. That funny photos, colors, and all that stuff is a huge lie?

Maybe?

Or maybe…

Just give a go or let it go… Something different. You will see how I am struggling with not saying everyone I have never been happy. Yeah… my brain says: no such option, software error, no human inside…

It can wait…

But I can not, can I? I got to hurry. Everything got to be on time!!!

Fighting this my whole life.

I can not stop, because if I do… I do not know what will happen, maybe I will loose control over everything, which I in fact do not have, sooo… how the heck crazy my life is? How boring and simple to be honest, but also hectic and fucked up? But you do not know me, still you claim I am not grateful, and you know what, maybe I am not? I do not feel it… maybe sometimes when I touch the old trees? But then fear comes, because I know the humanity sucks so much, sooo…

I need to hurry…

But what for?

For whom?

Do I need that hurry, do I really? Maybe just for exercises and nothing more, just run little witch, run, run, and then… pant…

I hate the word GRATEFUL. Truly. It is so Christian like, so empty, so washed out like FRIEND or even LOVE. Friends on Facebook, Instagram, oh my, such a joyful group… one lie… two lies… magpies, pie, eyes…

Do not tell me what I should feel.

I will not smash you with my sweet darkness.

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