I heard it is easy, to spoil yourself. But the problem is… if you were trained as a kid, that everybody else is more important than you are… so it sucks!!! Now I am teaching myself not only to love me, to cherish me a bit, to be okay with myself… but also, to spoil me in different ways.


Those ways may seem crazy, or so regular and normal, like taking a stroll or eating an apple, breathing more, feeling more, being more… windy LOL Do not afraid, only outside!!! And I figured out, that spoiled means being free if you are me!!!

How is it? Does it mean that as a kid I was not spoiled and not free? Does it mean that I find myself important enough to get a price? Or maybe… there is nobody else to tell me, that I am THAT COOL?

I am looking at the world now, at kids so always spoiled with gifts, stupid and ugly… so free to say everything, and to do whatever they want… and am confused. And scared. Because me not spoiled grew up for someone spoiling others, and they think only about… themselves.


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