I am the one…

I am the one…

“I am the one who sees
the one who feels
the one whose life is not only here
and mind does not belong only for…
I am in the weird between…
Between of…
everything.
Between now and forever
between then and maybe
between one and not at all…
I am the one who sees more
differently
unusual
I am…
The unspoken
speaking too much.
I am the one who screams
with no sound coming out of my mouth.
I am the one who is
maybe the only one
though
not thinking about it…
not looking for filling up my life.
Not with people.
Trees and thoughts
stories and dreams
enough…
I am the one who is enough.
For myself.
That matters…
Ch. J.

Well… ladies! Witches! LOL

Everything started from a small gift from my friend, because somehow in Finland some words are still… much more magical than they are for others nowadays… or maybe they still know they are magical and the rest of the surrounding world is a bit…

Dumb? Or too civilized?

Well, we all know words have a power. Amazing power, frightening even. Using Latin was something useful to bash others from power but the truth is, old ladies, those with power had no knowledge of posh linguas… Still, they were so strong, those little poems, those customs, those weird, or even stunningly simple acts… everything… some words we use know are spells…

And…

A friend of mine, mentioned earlier, knowing I love their words send me a new one… she knows I obsessively love them, and everything started from a book. And it popularity in Finland which comes from, possibly not only…

… what it is about…

But the word, title, name…

There is still my first, amazing – also a female name – Lempi.

Magic of love… I love this word. It is so sparkly for me! So…strong but also light, so touchable so… okay it is love, that deeper, sexual, forever even, love which is unconditional but also… very Nordic…

And… yeah… soo, be prepared, the new word, book title, is Vittu.

“The väki of the vittu could be used to cast many different kinds of spells, but most commonly it was used for protection.

One example of the power of vittu is the protection it offers from the forest beasts. In order to keep her cattle safe on the fields, the matron of the family would stand on the field with her lower body naked. When she bend over with her vittu facing the forest the beasts would run away from power much stronger than them.

This is why it was also safe to go berry picking with older women – even the bear would stay away and bow down to the power of vittu out of respect.” from page

The power of the…

I am still learning which word should I use.

Some of them I really do not like, they sound strange, some are not tasty, but when you are someone with a crazy mind, you taste words so magic of words is for me clear and normal. Is something regular. Something… come on, how many swearing words involve a devil… Satan, perkele, zum teufel, do diabła… helvede.

We cast spells not even knowing it…

Should we be bewared?

And what is bigger… vagina or hell, or maybe it is the same?

What is more magical?

Or maybe it is the one… or maybe… LOL

PS. That book, which started that conversation is: “Vittu”  and yes, here it is a name. Here in Denmark. LOL Here where I live… and now I am thinking about Russian and Polish names so similar to Vittu… Wojtek, Vitja… erm…

Overthinking?

Drone?

I mean… this is why I love to take my Familiar when I look for helleristninger. He always sees everything…

Differently.

He is not the book or one of my professors or colleagues.

He is just himself looking at everything with his mathematical mind.

He saw a lot, he knows how it works but to be honest… he does not care so for him it is not fascinating… or maybe it is but more it is fun…

Something he does not believe in…

You know, pictures from the past.

Like those in Bottna.

For him it is a drone… for me a wagon… but now I am not so sure. LOL

For sure a great rock to show how much more we can see when we use photography.

But nothing bits sketches… or maybe, but the feeling… yeah, it is different.

Being here is like connecting to the past.

Being surrounded by waters and trying to leave a message… but to whom? And was it a message or a chronicle?

Life

Life

“Sometimes life
is all about:
walks
waves
winter
woods
wonders
valleys
rocks
ribbons
rain
rusted wheel
rugged bits
ruins
books
brains
beards of nisser
bloody flames
candles
chips
corpses
archeology
arches
axes
air
trees and rocks and books
yeah
mostly life is about it
and bears
moose
reindeer
rocks
have I mentioned rocks
and maybe
maybe
more rocks
more sea
more emptiness
others telling me loneliness is bad
more whispers and dreams
more trees
and rocks
rocks and trees and books on them
and green tea…
tea

how could I forget about it
and sorbet ice cream
with no cream…
sounds
whispers
aromas
and rocks…
okay
trees and rocks
come on
I need them!” Ch. J.

The woods

I sometimes dream about them…

Sometimes I wake up when touched by a leaf or confused branch…

And sometimes…

I am there between them and I dream.

Truly. Or… I see things which for sure are not for my eyes… only…

I mean…

Of course mostly I prefer thick, old woodlands.

But must admit those with some paths are somehow… you know, naughty!

You can walk on them or… jump into the wilderness.

YAY!

What? It is the woods, if you treat it right, and do not damage trees and other bits they will let you stay forever here…

Sometimes for true forever.

And you become a tree or mossed stone…

I mean really… somehow, it seems so right.

Maybe this is why I got lost here for… no idea how long. It was hot, it was summer but somehow between the trees it was so soothing.

I wanted to be lost there and… I wanted it to be forever.

You must woman

You must woman

“You must
be a pure
success
mother
lover
business shit
kitchen aid
love everyone
be the goddess
atheist
believer
worshiper
healer and killer
everything
knowing first
healing last

Be always kind
no worries
no hate
no throwing plates
no anger
always smile
always hug

You should be a lady
you must be feminine
you mustn’t be feminine
red or black
never pink
often pink
thin
thin
thin

You must

in whole honesty
only breath
truly deep
and poop…
here is the secret
and this is
the must.
The rest
are others dreams.
Others realms
Others…
not yours.
Ch.J.

People on the sea

I am living on an island.

Not big, not huge, in fact for many of you it will be a quite small island.

I live on an island surrounded by waters of the Baltic Sea… in fact not the big sea big but a very dangerous one. Waters may be looking friendly but they are also being… very tricky, to be honest. This is the sea which loves souls…

To have them for itself only.

Mighty being… which took at least 2 people recently.

I talked with a sailor once and he told me it is in fact, especially during late autumn, winter and spring a very dangerous being. You have everything, every kind of weather in one time. You have also all the feelings in one time and standing there, on a somehow safe ground, I still can feel it, and be grateful that…

… I do not have to be on a ferry this day.

That this being can be for me only beauty, not fear.

People on the sea act different.

Some, on big ships act even irresponsible. We had some who tried to not see my island. We had those who tried to sail through it… or something like that. See, all that electronic stuff, all those devices sometimes do not work, sometimes they work but a human error is a huge being… it is a god in fact.

A Human Error god of every stupid mistake.

Of every… not thinking…

… of…

One thing I am sure of… I can not live without it. I must smell it, see it, somehow hear it, I just must… it is not maybe, why, no questions no answers, no… anything… I mean, I never thought I will be that someone who is so into the sea. Okay, mountains are the one who mess my body. The woods are the perfection and the rocks and the desert… yeah, I love them. But the sea… come on, me and my seasickness. Also known as traveling sickness… okay, just do not move me all of sudden and turn me and… no swings no carousels no wheels, those huge…

… no.

So why the sea is for me like air?

PS. When you see seagulls or other sea birds, think about those who were taken by the sea. Maybe the waves needed someone to play with, maybe did not know… maybe thought it will be okay or maybe… there is another world, hidden from our eyes and dreams, under there, somewhere…

Sweden

I mean… you can go for hours and find no house no human being… and then all of the sudden a pond, lake…

… houses…

And again trees…

And rocks.

And more trees.

Awesome, though young trees… you know here everything is a bit… too young.

Except rocks.

I love rocks.

I love trees and can not live without sea anymore… this north sea.

Sooo… yeah, cities by the sea…

They can be so stylish.

Really…

And they have polar bears here!!!

Red barn

Somewhere deep in the Sweden… Swedish surroundings, you know, moose, trees, wet, rocks, all that stuff…

There she is standing.

Still standing, I hope…

Old wood, old windows… still watching, still dreaming.

Nothing and so much.

Huge inspiration for a story about a loneliness which can be for some of us a blessing. Loneliness but not being alone…

Because you are never alone.

That Swedish red. Those planks, vibes and smell of… something familiar.

And… yeah, and this.

Standing here too…

And all of the sudden it gets creepy… and I can not come back to the barn… it somehow disappeared… or maybe it was me… it is me who disappeared?

Maybe.

In my imagination… awesome world.

You have to

You have to

“To be honest you have to do nothing

You can just exist for existing,

for breathing, feeding the trees.

You can just be and not be a huge impact,

discover something…

you can only make steps, sometimes threw away words…

You can…

Sometimes smile…

…and you can be so unaware how you changed someone’s life for better.

Because that smile was those butterfly’s wings which changed more. One smile brought more smiles and…

Maybe someone finally decided to smile again.

You can…

You can only clean around, bring sounds, walk, collect leaves and stones… overthink everything, be yourself…

You can doubt in yourself in existence,

in everything in fact…

You can… learn.

You can pass and fail.

You can think you are nothing in this world.

You can…

Be wrong.

You may be unaware how important you are for others, for people, for beings unknown which touches you feel but do not fully understand…

You can…”