No, I can not stop…
I can, wait, can stop but I do not want to.
I do not want to change, I am done with it, I know what I dilike and it is the most important thing.
Done…
And it is my birthday tomorrow!!!
YAY
And here is still Fjallbacka…
Because why not?
Because… I have a dream and wish and because of tomorrow I wish…
I do!
I know what I want.
But still… I do also know I can change… because, I can.
Happy Birthday!!! 🙂 #buymeacoffee
Sleep
“Sleep
dream
it is life
maybe much truer
much real
than this
machines
phones
ideas of those
who wanna change
what is working
just to be
written into books
remembered
forgotten by nature
not noticed by trees
offended by waves
laughed of by winds
but still…
historical…
just dream
sleep
maybe you are the one
who sleeps
to create the world
maybe for you
unknown
for others being
home.” Ch. J.
I am here
“I am here
I could swear
nowhere else
though
nothing else
is touching me
here
there
more
nevermore
the outside of my comfort
comfort zone…
I am here
but I am also there
because I can not
close myself
in just one place…
Once I thought
I could
quickly find out
If I would
nothing else
is possible
existing
blinking
twisting…
I am… me
complicated thing
maybe
not maybe
for sure
there
and there
everywhere…” Ch. J.
Tea in fact… LOL Or a book… oh yes…
I mean…
… they say you can feel alone when being surrounded by people and I say… so what? Do you really need all that people…
For what?
Patting your back?
Or maybe just liking your posts?
Oh my, all you need is being okay with yourself and when it is not enough a group of those who you can trust…
Who you love.
Not more… not too many…
Because to have many of them means time… and sometimes you may want to have this time for yourself…
Maintaining humans is hard.
People too often act like pages in the social media, like profiles…
Just being and screaming: love me… and how much love can one person have? How much can I absorbed… I am overflowing with information I do not need and I even do not have TV, do not use medias like others, I just am there, read comments once a day… if ever… my email… oh come on, once a year…
I am an alien.
Clearly.
Sooo… here they are, they were hanging on my wall, and remember I do not smoke. They were exhibited and just… well, used for photography. Perfect background for Instagram photos…
“Mythology of an Island – The First Snow” – It is all about waiting.
All about seeing for the first time those heavy grey clouds, and feeling this amazing freshness and lightness in yourself. And suddenly something changes, the skies brake and white petals are starting their dance to you… you taste them, dance with them, and feel finally full…
But be careful.
This what comes from grey, heavy clouds is in fact the lightest thing on the world, the most amazing composition of colors… all you have to do is let yourself to see them. to feel them, to find them in Yourself.
“The mythology of the Space” were born from a huge dream, a vision in fact… Here is “The First Venus” – the one which is born for every female, connecting all pieces, the one who is love and hate, birth and death… good and bad, everything what every woman has inside.
“The First Moon” – can you see the face on the Moon? This profile now so empty and strange when we look at the sky? Can you see the legends? and myths? Hear the ancient whispers… stories never told?
Gentle covered by hair?
Can you see the hand holding it before it will become something dead, something sooo far far far away?
Can you?
“The First Sun” – the one which was the first, the one which was brought by the raven in his belly, the one which in fact is born with last shades of Winter… every year.
Again and again…
This is also love, doing something for someone just because…
“The First Mars” – can you see the face, or a lioness? Can you see the legends? and myths? Hear the ancient whispers… stories never told?
Can you see the hand holding it before it will become just light, something only sooo far far far away? With flowers of war, love and hate together… power and beauty…
Can you?
This one is very complexed…
And the bigger piece, the leading one…
Though perfect also alone.
Strong… is a piece from “Mythology of the Space” series… called “Before”. The expectations. Gods still making their tables and chess figures ready. The cosmic soup is still not even a definition. But there is something starting, something or someone waiting… to be.
Somehow it is connected with everything what is happening in nature. Something what will come, will happen… expectations. And a bit fear, because the weather is crazy, and everything is possible…
… especially when I look at the sky and the sea connecting. I meet new colors and new shapes… Oh my, this was an amazing feeling…
And I don’t care…
“And I don’t care
that it’s a new year
no resolutions
no vision boards
no needs and wants
just fear…
And I don’t care
that it spring
I am not washing windows
shaving grass
wishing…
no will.
And I don’t care
that it is sunny and I should act happy
I am not
I will not
unable to even be aware…
And I don’t care
so why you do?
Why so many questions
GOOD sucking advises
not knowing me…
And I do care…“ Ch. J.
I mean, I have no idea why I am so into architecture… I mean wait, of course I know why, to be honest I never had a home…
It is my first time to own a home.
A place which is mine… okay bank is also included but still…
Okay again, not only mine but a place I can change, live in, hide, listen to… which gives me advises…
For example to always be you.
Like…
,,, we had a red room, I mean it was painted by those who built it in deep purplish, queen like red… and we painted it cobalt but still it needed re bits like a lamp, paintings, small carpet…
Sooo…
I think I see homes, buildings as trees.
The same mechanism.
Smarter than me…
Often so sad if left alone…
Treat the past…
“Treat the past
wisely
learn from their mistakes
wear the crown of ancestors
with your head up
high
add your petals and leaves
your dreams and thoughts
pick up leaves and stones
talk
never forget
about your favorite branch
and drink teas
eat mushrooms
try new
or forget about more
and
be yourself
the only one you know
change with winds and sunsets
dream with river’s whispers
remember
speak up
tell stories
overcome the unknown
known can be boring
secrets may be unnecessary
and the past…
can past by
unnoticed…” Ch. J.
I mean…
I just somehow am in this internet, web, however we wanna call it, and usually see nothing, I am not bothered, I do not care about brands but artists, oh yes… and rarely I feel a push and fall in love with a piece…
… artist, work, words…
… or maybe I just… want it?
Simply.
No idea.
Okay, whenever I feel something to someones creations I wait a moment. Okay, wait, LOL I just first watch the creator, salivate, pray that none will take it… because it is one an only, it is not something else will get to, can be a similar gift, but not the same… then gather cash, come on, I am not king Midas, right?
This time it is all about rituals… Ritual Remains!
You may know or not that I love trees, obsessively.
I need them, not only for breathing, they are my inspiration, something I need to recharge, a piece of nature I always come back tom, touch, plant, and cherish… and a simple pine is a memory of my winter last… well, autumn. It was still autumn, the snow found me in Sweden and there was a pine and I needed to… pee…
Classic me.
And there was that brave pain, on the side of the road, and it was creating an amazing shelter between all the naked birches… you know, Sweden, right… and I felt like someone was hugging me.
So tightly.
But to be precise. This piece is silver, hand created in amazing technique which you can observe on their page and Instagram. It is a pure magic. Amazing heaviness but not too much, great chain, and that feeling… oh yes it came beautifully wrapped but, yes it is important, but still… the inside was screaming: take me, wear me, love me!!! I love the logo of the artist/artists, love the trees, love the paper but most of all I love this pendant so much. It is such a talkative one…
I mean, we talk, yell each other.
We just do…
As always not sponsored.
And then, after all the mess comes peace and quiet…
Or at least I hope so when the mess starts.
Because, to be honest, well, it is mostly messy all the time…
… problems all around even if you try to be so obsessively careful as I am… because I do try to be careful, to not do anything what could make me closer to some dangerous zones I could truly not handle…
Yeah, I truly try… not to mess up.
I got so kicked by life that… well, I am still aching, sooo, I try not to put my hands into everything.
I try.
I fail.
I fail often, but for sure not so often as I could… maybe I am not so adventurous… as I used to be, or maybe for some people I am…
To be honest, I so do not care… about adventures, looking for them.
They always fin me.
Always.
This is why I often prefer to hide… to just breath, to just overthink everything, be creative but also try to be safe. And then… I usually jump, and change everything in my life. Everything… or just a huge part…
Why?
Why I do it to myself?
And then…
