Vitlycke

I heard they are opening again!

Or more like are already open…

And it is a must see place and shop. You know I love souvenirs, but the souvenirs which are more than special.

Which will bring feelings with them.

Touching them, looking at them… bring feelings which make me feel better, so, it is a must to have.

Though remember… rules still apply…

And how cool are those pictures. In fact stone carvings… though a bit with a smile.

Because what else can we do…

At least the whole stone art is in the woodlands, open space, so no worries! Go out… but check also this shop.

I want two of those!

Oh my…

And the blanket!

And jewellery… Have I mentioned they have so much witchy bits?

They do!

And of course books.

Some can be… naughty. LOL

And this is what science can be too… because why not?

Trust me, it is a must have.

I wanna be there now… so much.

Somehow… there I feel like… busy.

In another level of business.

Sooo… if you can, remember stay safe, stay in woods, sometimes check the shops, especially those with everything local!!!

You for beginners…

In fact you do know what to do…

You know what you feel, you do. But you have to turn off TV and phone, stop watching YT and go out. Breath in and… suddenly the wisdom can hit you. Yeah, you have it in you, truly. There is only few of us who are dumb as…

Human.

But if you decide to be full, truly full, you can calmly go out, slowly, step by step if you are new n this… touch the tree. Maybe a rowan, it is such a forgiving tree, hug a birch, she knows so much, amazing, beautiful grandma of us all… or ash, smart, brave… or oak, yeah, he is overwhelming.

Truly can be a bit too much, so maybe start from pine… she loves you already, smells nice, but beware of sap. It is awesome, useful, but sticky.

Truly sticky.

Those trees can heal you, teach you so much…

Look at the cherry tree… have you seen how red the sap is here. Look at those barks, every tree has a different kind of bark, even branches, during winter… look at them, they are not all black or grey, now. There is redness, brown, even yellow!!! I mean… or roots. If you will take another step you can find out the roots being visible. Smooth, sculpted into shapes which may scare you so…

Breath.

Everything is okay.

This is normality. Really… woods, forests, woodlands, meadows… screaming crow, sparrows… or a gees or swan… though when it comes to those and mushy area, be even more careful, it is another step.

You may need more time…

… though, I am not sure if they have it…

More Tanum

Yeah, I mean…

Okay, true, I went into those waves because of shells…

I love them, but to be even more honest and a bit TMI you could go commando, because it was empty…

Yeah…

Totally.

So cool!!!

I know, I am evil because I prefer talk to rocks and trees and not to humans. Oh my… calm down, trust me, you do not want talk to me. I could ask weird questions. Only because I look at you as my next science project, more research on, as I call you all Homo Novinkus. Yeah… this is you.

Yeah…

Oh wait, I found colors.

I am lost.

Or architecture…

Oh… birches, bye!!!

Bodies

They haunt me…

Bodies of the sand dolls…

… as I called them ages ago, when as a kid who had only few teddy bears and books, I was looking for something, maybe answers… and creating them from the grass with long, thin, though many, roots… body was made from the grass, green, though drying fast when put up from the sandy soil…

They haunt me because I was making them every day when coming back from school. I had few kilometers to walk, so it was taking me some time. For few years, living in the middle of the woods, only three houses…

It was crazy…

I was lost in the woodlands, familiar, still lost always… running through the path, seeing my home and making them… pulling from the soil, happy if I got long haired one. Making the body, tightening with grass. Yeah, they were my friends until they dried… and I was leaving them there because I was not allowed to bring them home. Come on, logical, right? I smuggled stones and sticks, but bunch of sand and grass…

… nope, not going to happen and I wanted them to dance on the fields.

And to protect me from gees.

Yeah, they can be very angry. I mean… they bite! I had to go around, through muddy part of the woods and then I could be home. But the body, the doll which was loosing its magic with every lost drop of water… was there, in the fields. Another day, another one… even when it was rainy…

Geez… nowadays you would not let your kid go like this, wild and unprotected. And yes, there was something bad in the woods, police, man, yeah… I was too young to get the evilness or maybe… I did not want to know it was what already touched my soul, body, mind… maybe…

But those bodies.

How many I created?

They come back to me in the dreams…

And wood…

And to be honest, for rocks and water and wood, there is no comparison of touching the wooden bits of…

Time in fact.

Wooden bits which enjoyed sun and kids playing, maybe saw first kiss…

Or more, what I do not want to think about, because I was sitting there and… yeah, truly, please no.

Oh and that bit of rock… and bird poop.

Yeah, all inclusive!!!

Sea life.

And the rocks, art by nature…

Yeah, still in Tanum.

Still above the water… oh, who am I kidding. Of course I am wet already. I am always wet… truly, like a child.

Tell me not to go into a paddle, I will go.

There are shells!!!

The water

Air, water, soil, rock, metal…

Plants.

We are nature, we are all one though… still we somehow choose bits of nature which are the most exciting for us.

Which are the biggest part of us.

Some choose mountains, others lakes, woodlands, meadows, amazing sandy emptiness of the desert or… desserts LOL

Yeah, I used to think forest and the desert are mine. And fire, of course… windy weather, autumn and winter, mostly winter… and an island… there was always something islandic in my life.

Living on an island between rivers, island on the top of hill surrounded by valleys… island… finally became my home.

And then I figured out there is such bunch of islands in Sweden, especially on their western shore… I mean… check it.

Homes on tiny rocks crowded…

They are specific and special…

And they are something what made me get it… that I also need the sea. Somehow trees, rocks, fire and gloominess got to be combined with the sea.

I need them all.

Always.

Forever.

And here they are everywhere… seen from the continent. Special… from tiniest to the biggest…

Tiny bits of loneliness. Amazing.

Rock and water…

The hardest and the softest.

Sometimes you do not even feel that water till it moves, tickles, like a sweatdrop running down your back.

Like…

A kiss.

It made me think about a summer cottage here. Having one… just a dream, maybe never will happen, though…

Those waves, ripples… and a tiny roof, safe place.

But the rock.

Oh yes, here the rock is a combo of hard and soft. Because somehow those waves were creating, sculpting those rocks, rocky islands, tiny, so tiny, for years… and rusty metal, for balance…

Or maybe, oh yes, not so long because to be honest, those rocks came out above the water not such long time ago.

But here, I started to be even more certain that there is more I want…

I dream about.

I do not want everyday and borders, I want life.

Different…

Because I am not an everyday being…

Never was.

Still Tanum/Sweden.

The beach

This is Tanum.

In fact when you look at this place from the city side it is just a cute scandinavian bigger village. Calm…

With a church, of course. Which I did not photograph and up in a picture you see a weird guy – view from our cottage…

And ICA.

A shop I am addicted too… mostly because people are so nice there and mugs and candles are so cool.

When you look from above you see magic, but when you go to the beach, you touch the magic.

Inhale it…

It was end of summer, still sunny though windy, so not time for swimming, not so close to rocks.

But walking here…

OMMI!!!

I mean, it was like walking on water… with few splashes…

It was like being one with all those tiny islands, rocks, with…

Saltiness and hard rock.

With shells down there and colors…

And beings, because here you feel not alone. Not at all… I wanna swim there once. I wanna come back!!!

2019

It was 2019.

Nasty year even though we finally made one of our dreams true.

Home…

I still remember December of 2018 and my visions that that was last Jul there in that awful stinky house, I laughed out myself off. Truly… and idiot. And everything hyped up my depression… I was scared, I doubled up my pills. I lost myself and I lost my treasure which I found after a week, in a grass… outside.

Then everything started… the process of buying home, wanting, dreaming, being scared that they will kick us off… that it will not happen. I knew both, that they will say yes though I was also scared that they will not. I was sure but…
I have no trust.
I mean…

Then we started moving and we found out that we… I have lost all books, furniture, things we could not wash in fact… and that the yellow mold exist.

In few days whole house started to fall apart, carpet, walls, colors changing, weird smell… like it was there only until we move… only… Like it was keeping a breath in and now, seeing that it does not have too anymore… can lat it go, can just stop pretending… just lost it. And everything…

Mold house.

And the ghost went away.

The Smoking Lady disappeared. After all those years just went away… and I really was like: you can come with us, and with few days she was like: maybe okay… but one day I just felt, that she was gone… and then we were gone too.
Moving again.

There are people who move many times in life, those who move few and those who start and end in the same room they were brought from the hospital… could I live like this? Nope. Not at all. I was looking for my place for a long time… and recently figured out that maybe I am still looking. Me, sitting in our lovely home – still no furniture, but maybe one day – big table is coming finally!!! Me sitting here, listening to the crows and seagulls and looking at my trees, planted by me, planting new seedlings… me… is not sure…

It scared me.

2020 was in fact not so bad at all… 2021 for now, evil.

Too much feelings, just too much of everything. Like sitting in heads of many people or getting dreams which are not mine…

I am tired…

And still mourning my books, my fun, friends, family and knowledge.

Vrangstad gravfält 11

And finally time to say good bye…

To put down the promise, that I will come back here.

I will…

Even in few days because could not spare more time for most important things… But also to discover what I missed.

I just have to come back here.

I somehow want to live in Bohuslan…

So much.

I have no idea for how long… but I need more time…

More time in Swedish archeological wilderness.

I need it.

I painfully miss that place.

Silly me, right?

Very silly…

I know this place changed me…

Maybe in a way I can not even describe…