Veddö 12

Imagine up and down.

Imagine sitting here and feeling the breeze but also the sun.

Still hot, still summery… hard rock, softness of the wood and that waves splashing so close.

And colors all around, not only blue…

Nope.

Look at the rocks, be inspired by the plants growing on them, using that tiny amount of soil and water coming from the chilly nights…

Imagine the sound… songs of ripples…

Imagine…

Everything being a part of you.

Because this is how it works.

We are one.

We are nature.

The most stubborn part of it in fact… I mean really stubborn. LOL

Veddö 11

And it hurts me that I will not walk this path this year…

To be honest it was the only thing holding me since last year… only thing…

I mean somehow that place is calling me so much.

So loudly.

Like there was something more in those rocks… even more I can see.

Even more I can feel and hear.

And I miss it so much. The whole area. All those rocks, islands, even that church… somehow…

I miss…

Painfully.

Even this dangerously looking bridge.

Such amazing place, all those whispers, feelings…

Everything.

Like my island was not enough or was only a place where I had to find myself?

Maybe… I need more?

And questions…

Suddenly you sit down and figure it out…

Or it comes to you in a middle of hot night when dreams and this what others call reality are one. When you do not think, you more express yourself…

Suddenly somehow you know… what you do not want.

And get it, that maybe you will never have what you really desire.

And then… yeah, to be honest, nothing happened. Nothing. Just the weather, moon, all those human phases of life and…

Change.

Somehow from the corners of your thoughts come out needs and possibilities and you know you can do it. End it, throw it away. Stop caring… and suddenly, when you do not care… you have no need to live.

It strikes you that needs, dreams etc… are those pushers, more or less gently to make you breath and… exist.

I was removing books which were hidden in a shed… you know, those poisoned. I was crying, destroying bits of my life, my past and my now… but not my future. Because I have no idea if there is… a future. Somehow there is only now and I am not sure if I like it… this so called now.

It makes me… scared.

Even more scared.

Both scared and not caring, together is a madness. Something you drown into but also… you are finally clean. You threw away that pain. Only to make place for more pain, new pain, for… I mean WTF life. Is it like my whole ethos is suffer from loss? Not people, no… I only had 3 of them and somehow even 2 are dead, still somehow they are with me sooo… no, it is not that…

Books.

Art…

Lost bits of me…

I am done with loosing. Nope, it taught me nothing, since I was a kid I was kicked and lied, I am done. This what you survived gives you only a badge of: survivor… nothing more. Teaches you… nothing. Next time you will notice it is just a hole in you which gets bigger and deeper.

And… I am done.

I have no more questions. No more answers. I only want… need. And all this… must happen now.

Veddö 10

I mean, rocks.

Simple thing, right?

Boulders? Or maybe heads, limbs of giants living here before…

Or maybe legends, forgotten stories which got stoned…

Or maybe…

Us in the future?

Maybe this is true life? Being a rock?

Come on, it is a beautiful place, bring me books, I can stay here.

And tea!!!

Look at those lines, like a forgotten language… and maybe it is one?

Maybe?

I love those structures.

Shapes which look like from another world.

Palaces of unknown creatures… they look so… soft. I mean really, so friendly, so true! Sooo… from another world, or maybe it is us who are from not this world… anymore? Maybe?

Giving up

Giving up

“To just not care…
to just go and never come back…
to not look back…
sometimes it seems a good idea…
because nowadays bad things are called lessons
good things happening are just the time to wait
for bad to happen…
this life
this time
it is not me
it is not mine
it is just time to survive or
to give up…
I am not strong
I do thing which have to be done and then…
I cry
bad things did not create of me someone
stronger
bigger
being able to survive everything
nope
I am sure I could live without them happening…
shit, when happens…
is something to survive
or to give up…
you choose…
and sometimes it is chosen by others…” Ch. J

Veddö 9

It is a bit like meditation… just walking, sitting, eating a sandwich…

Looking far far far away.

I mean truly, it is such a special, calm and calming place… mindfulness is here in the air. Not some theory…

It is…

Rocks for sure.

And those shapes, bellies, female bodies…

It feels so feminine.

And shells.

That blue and purple… those shapes…

It is all so primal like we were just coming out from the waves…

But in this shape.

And sitting, looking at that boat… can you see it?

Wait…

Come on, down that island, or rock, we still did not establish when one becomes another… living there, not for me, I need trees, but to be honest… this is a place I could live. With trees.

Veddö 8

I mean… it is in fact all about rocks and waves… imagine this place during a huge storms… in fact, how does the waves dance in such space?

Is it calmer?

Louder?

What does the sea bring?

What it gives to the land?

What takes away?

And… really, I mean, how is it?

Wobbly?

Because, to be honest… yes, of course you know you are standing still, though watching the sea, all those ripples, somehow… you hear a beating heart…

Or beating hearts of many rocks… divided by waters, still holding somewhere under. Together…

And all those colors, the freshness of the air.

I mean…

It is an amazing place.

So spiritual.

Veddö 7

I mean, with every step this place was showing more and more and more…

It was breathtaking, super spot for meditation. Where rocks are so colorful… I mean those are plants, but still… growing on rocks!

Where everything is sooo…

Clear and amazing, beautiful, breathtaking…

And there are shells too!

Huge ones!

Come on, this is Sweden, the North… still I saw such weird creatures in those waters when the heat hits.

Scary… creatures too.

But come on, sit on this rock with me… look around, on a path, sea, rocks, islands if you prefer to call them this way…

We are sitting on one…

No worries, just slide down, okay…

Safe?

Yes, those are crystals, come on, they happen in rocks, you know. LOL

Veddö 6

And it was sunny and not so hot because of windy air…

And that freshness and… yeah, to be honest, there was also a smelly spot, but it is normal by the sea.

Truly normal.

And rocks here, oh my…

And those colors and calmness and laziness in the air.

Really.

And the wilderness and of course plants and waves…

And… herbs and plants in patriotic, for Danmark, colors LOL

I mean really…

Amazing place.

With rocks in the sea, and sea surrounding rocks, little islands.

Amazing.

Old wife’s tales… Age…

Yeah… this is a new segment on this blog, because I am a wife. And looking at the numbers, I seem to be an old one.

Maybe not ancient myself, but living with one guy for over 20 years makes me and old wife, sooo… why not?

Listen to me rambling.

Today about AGE.

Only because I jumped into a talk about it on Spirit of Old page, somehow it hit me… again, not that I got it for the first time, that… they were right. Those adults from my childhood trying to tell me to wait. To not getting everything in. To wait until I grow up, because then I will understand… Strangely I still am not sure if I get it, I mean maybe bots of life are much more obvious, but the rest, I mean…

It is a mess.

Sooo…

… when they tell you to wait, because everything will be more clear with age, do not think: I am old enough I can touch the shelf, or I am old enough, I can go to school alone, I can choose my dress, school, buy home… to be honest, when the heck is that AGE coming, when I know everything?

Or it is not the point?

Knowing everything in fact could make me not to like life… to choose erase on my life machine… because life sucks a lot, stinks, is painful and… still, it is such an awesome journey, such an adventure if you only stop listening too much those around you. Listen the old ones, really old, you will know which one are worthy, they will tell you, that they still know nothing, those listen to…

The rest, Instagram wise asses… threw away.

Use your own brain, read books, hug trees, look at nature, spend time in the woodlands, meadows and look at plants, check how diverse they are and know it, always, that you are one of them…