Galleri Kobaltowa Wrona - painted fairytales dreams

Decision

Posted on June 6, 2023 by ChepcherJune 3, 2023

I have started, in fact, blogging around 2008 but earlier I was writing for newspapers, for portals, then for WP, I was a younger critic, I had even my book ready to be published and then the world changed, things collapse but still, I have not changed, so I kept writing, creating, discovering…

Oh my, writing is a very important thing to me as painting an archeology.

But… paying for pages, it is too much, I can not handle it anymore, sooo, finally since October it all will be closed.

Forever.

I was never into sharing, I had comments until I figured out how to turn it of. LOL Yeah, this is me… I want to create but not to talk, WOW the discovery! Finding out this about myself is huge plus… I want finally to finish my book, work on something else and to be honest, I just can not afford it all not only financially but also mentally.

It is too much…

Maybe there will be few more posts, I have so many moose photos, bright moose, rare one, rocks etc… but to be honest, do I want to write about it? Show it? I do not think so… I think I just want to be under my rock, in my woodlands, I want…

Freedom?

Is it it?

Freedom from social media… for now my Facebook profile and two Instagrams Bear and Me will be on, I still have few paintings to sell… but…

I think I am running away… again… Officially it will be of in October but I will practice this stepping away… I need it. Or maybe not, have no idea what is on the other side… just peeking…

AI

Posted on June 4, 2023 by ChepcherJune 2, 2023

I mean… okay, everyone talks…

Okay, maybe not everyone, but My insecure self decided to listen a lecture by one of the professors and now I am like…

I am so not giving that AI my work, no way…

… but… if I do not want to share with AI…

How can I share with others?

I can not.

Is there a solution?

Well, writing, printing, not sharing via internet, but…

Nowadays people can not live without internet.

Few days ago, on a ferry, I was the only person without telephone, writing in my notebook with my book.

Looking strange.

Did I care? Nope but still, it was weir, because if one thing is different, everyone notices it… clearly…

June?

Posted on June 2, 2023 by ChepcherMay 30, 2023

I mean June?

You must be kidding me… come on… I can not, I mean… I feel late. I mean late for everything, like I was lost in time or something like that.

Really.

But…

… maybe it is all because I get so easily distracted… I look at something for hours, take photos for days of a place, piece of land, shapes, shadows, changes… I learn, that changes may be easier if you just let them be. Let them happen and not be like, oh my, it will happen I will be doomed… be a spectator more…

Watch.

Learn, listen, remember… or forget.

Learn yourself…

… learn what is too much for you or what is not enough. Let yourself for just doing something huge an then rest or do something tiny and then more and more and feel overwhelmed. Learn how it is when… change touches you. A change which is in fact maybe a good one. Because they can be good… though mostly start from pain, this is why I hate changes soo… I have decided to create them by myself. To be a change in my own world. To be that overwhelming self.

Sooo… I started from an extreme deweeding and now I am aching… Tiffany Aching. LOL #terrypratchett But, all of the sudden I have discovered that this piece of land, hard and dry, which in fact was only weeds and the other one in between, which is weeds and fun plants which also were weeds… one day, well, when you clean up to sides on can be just weeds and it looks like freaking art.

Though, I burnt my ass… My pants went low in one moment, cold wind, sun and done… I have a re painful stripe. Another change… painful but in fact does it truly matters. Well, not very… nope. But it is a change. I still have no plants to make the middle amazing, but I changed two sies and they are clear… done.

Crazy?

A bit overthinking?

I just had to do something, to not think about life, time and changes which I can not fight with… weeds are useful in this matter. Simple work is useful…

… dirty, sweaty job.

But… what I was doing in fact was watching the soil and those shadows, shapes, grass and hard soil… and art by nature coming into my face… and it took me a lot of time to just stop looking… because sometimes I just stop for a moment and do nothing to then do something almost maniacally… well, June…

Weird thing.

Dry

Posted on May 31, 2023 by ChepcherMay 28, 2023

I mean my island is screaming for rain…

It is something what happened few times in the past but this time it is already a disaster.

So I am still somewhere else…

Somewhere else, where in fact weather is the same…

Oh yes…

Wait, it was dry there too, that time…

Dry rocks, some sea, some dreams some shells…

But those rocks, I mean there is so much magic there!

So much!

And those plants!

It is like another world!

It is like another planet… with those salty rocks… oh my, that was a very strange year, not that this one is normal.

What is normal?

Crystals…

Posted on May 29, 2023 by ChepcherMay 27, 2023

Okay, as a Witch, I am often asked: what about crystals… well, to be honest I love them. I love rocks, stones an pebbles. I think about them as created through eons compositions of chemistry, dreams and physics…

I think about some stones as those which were touched by those who lived before us, maybe as tools, because, to be honest, for me an archeologist, it is always a possibility. Even if there are no marks…

But when it comes to those fancy crystals, well… I am recently crazy when it comes to tree agate and moss agate… I mean dendric agate and moss one. Plus, I always wear on me howlite – storm calmer… described as soft, soothing, and ever ready to tempt you back off the emotional ledge, it talks about compassion and sensitivity, it’s also a healing crystal first discovered by Henry How back in 1868, an amazing stone bringing you some patience and maybe new perspective.

Mine is in fact more white and grey, but they come also in creme with bits of silverish veins/lines. It is also called a White Buffalo, Sacred Buffalo, White Turquoise, Kaolinite, Lapis Howlite stone… Silico Boro Calcite or Imitation Stone. I got to be careful with it because it is a soft stone, but framed nicely…

I also have on me iolite/cordierite… inspiration and motivation, illumination and journey both in and out, in fact mine is more blue that violet because of its cutting. Inner visions, Viking’s compass… Amazing tiny bit… do not know why, but it makes me feel somehow better because I bought it in a special place, because for me places matter… like this milky crystal, got it for free from Hamburgsundo… and it is always with me on my laptop as the crystals. Simple pieces of ice looking like protection bits… an last ones… some moss agate and dendric. Oh my, those white ones with green drawings, they are like stories ready to be discovered… the same is with crystals, all those things called imperfections are giving them amazing universes inside… let me discover them and inspire me.

The rest it is flint…

And yes, flint is with me since I was born… and properties, oh my, so many… Also for free. Because… it is flint. And it is special.

Sooo… do I believe in crystals… well, I know that they can help me concentrate, they help me sometimes to calm down, especially when we travel, I think it is that smooth surface, like that palm stone I found recently… Almost soft. Well, they all are special and of course I have much more of them but recently these are close to me, just to cuddle them. Just to gather more inspiration…

Or maybe even luck?

Sometimes it truly does not matter what kind of stone it is… it matters if you too like each other, really…

Escape

Posted on May 27, 2023 by ChepcherMay 26, 2023

This is what I do…

… very often…

I escape.

If the problems are overwhelming, and it is in fact not my business and there is too many noises, people, too much of it all…

I escape.

Escapism is one of the first things I remember from my childhood.

Scary a bit…

Because a child, I mean the child, had to have a reason to escape, hie away… pretend everything is different…

Just not be.

I sometimes even try to discover places where you truly can be only you and…

Nothingness… nature…

And this is one of them… just the sea an rocks…

And only you if you are lucky… come on, during the season there can be others but they do not come for long…

Old wife’s tale… Your life…

Posted on May 25, 2023 by ChepcherMay 26, 2023

Your life should look like this…

Learn, be nice, do not shout, be careful, do not touch, eat this, not that, play this way, not that way, this is for girls, that for boys… wear those clothes, not that, that is for younger ladies… you are too old for this and that…

Act your age… WTF does it mean?

I mean I am aware there were women before me and they acted some way or another but I am not them. None of them I am. I am myself, my only fucking one and only!!! I do not drink coffee or alcohol this means I am the biggest evil… why? No idea, I think when it comes to alcohol people are just strangely afraid that them drunk will look dumb and my sober mind will know it…

Come on!

Or when it comes to science… oh yes, always follow the footsteps… and what have I done? Well, I decided to make a path for myself, a new one, an yes, I was scolded for that because a young woman, oh yes, for sure she married young so she will have kids and will be a dumb, useless bimbo… yeas… I hear that many times so, I stopped talking. Stopped talking with people to people, about people… oh no, about, I am looking at you all and have the best free lab rats ever!

But, maybe we will come back to the subject… your life… Yeah, you think it is your and you can do what you want but still you end up making the same mistakes as your parents remembering still that you promised yourself never do this… Why? Because you don’t know other way? You are to scared to try different because it always make people talk, oh well, make them talk… you always can put your hat on and earphones and whatever… Come one, you can do this?!

You can!

Life is not only this what was and what will be, it is mostly now… so think, how are you feeling with yourself now? Doing this, looking like this, being where you are? Yeah, there are things you can change easily, there are also those which have consequences… problematic thing, but if you done A sometimes B is something what you just must follow, but maybe in your own way…

Life is a lot of paths.

Marriage, kids and being as others may be not for you… though they will talk, and good, make them also pay for looking at you! Listening to you. Do not be a cheap fun. Make of yourself a blissful moment, not for everyone…

And yes, there still will be days when you will have to act “normal”…

But only moments.

And even them you can make… you.

PS. Yes, others will always better know how you should act or what to do, wear… you can just nod and go your way, you can try to convince them, but it is pointless… what I do? I pretend I do not understand them… plus, I am scare of people so much that often I just run away and it is okay, it is me…