Dry

I mean my island is screaming for rain…

It is something what happened few times in the past but this time it is already a disaster.

So I am still somewhere else…

Somewhere else, where in fact weather is the same…

Oh yes…

Wait, it was dry there too, that time…

Dry rocks, some sea, some dreams some shells…

But those rocks, I mean there is so much magic there!

So much!

And those plants!

It is like another world!

It is like another planet… with those salty rocks… oh my, that was a very strange year, not that this one is normal.

What is normal?

Crystals…

Okay, as a Witch, I am often asked: what about crystals… well, to be honest I love them. I love rocks, stones an pebbles. I think about them as created through eons compositions of chemistry, dreams and physics…

I think about some stones as those which were touched by those who lived before us, maybe as tools, because, to be honest, for me an archeologist, it is always a possibility. Even if there are no marks…

But when it comes to those fancy crystals, well… I am recently crazy when it comes to tree agate and moss agate… I mean dendric agate and moss one. Plus, I always wear on me howlite – storm calmer… described as soft, soothing, and ever ready to tempt you back off the emotional ledge, it talks about compassion and sensitivity, it’s also a healing crystal first discovered by Henry How back in 1868, an amazing stone bringing you some patience and maybe new perspective.

Mine is in fact more white and grey, but they come also in creme with bits of silverish veins/lines. It is also called a White Buffalo, Sacred Buffalo, White Turquoise, Kaolinite, Lapis Howlite stone… Silico Boro Calcite or Imitation Stone. I got to be careful with it because it is a soft stone, but framed nicely…

I also have on me iolite/cordierite… inspiration and motivation, illumination and journey both in and out, in fact mine is more blue that violet because of its cutting. Inner visions, Viking’s compass… Amazing tiny bit… do not know why, but it makes me feel somehow better because I bought it in a special place, because for me places matter… like this milky crystal, got it for free from Hamburgsundo… and it is always with me on my laptop as the crystals. Simple pieces of ice looking like protection bits… an last ones… some moss agate and dendric. Oh my, those white ones with green drawings, they are like stories ready to be discovered… the same is with crystals, all those things called imperfections are giving them amazing universes inside… let me discover them and inspire me.

The rest it is flint…

And yes, flint is with me since I was born… and properties, oh my, so many… Also for free. Because… it is flint. And it is special.

Sooo… do I believe in crystals… well, I know that they can help me concentrate, they help me sometimes to calm down, especially when we travel, I think it is that smooth surface, like that palm stone I found recently… Almost soft. Well, they all are special and of course I have much more of them but recently these are close to me, just to cuddle them. Just to gather more inspiration…

Or maybe even luck?

Sometimes it truly does not matter what kind of stone it is… it matters if you too like each other, really…

Escape

This is what I do…

… very often…

I escape.

If the problems are overwhelming, and it is in fact not my business and there is too many noises, people, too much of it all…

I escape.

Escapism is one of the first things I remember from my childhood.

Scary a bit…

Because a child, I mean the child, had to have a reason to escape, hie away… pretend everything is different…

Just not be.

I sometimes even try to discover places where you truly can be only you and…

Nothingness… nature…

And this is one of them… just the sea an rocks…

And only you if you are lucky… come on, during the season there can be others but they do not come for long…

Old wife’s tale… Your life…

Your life should look like this…

Learn, be nice, do not shout, be careful, do not touch, eat this, not that, play this way, not that way, this is for girls, that for boys… wear those clothes, not that, that is for younger ladies… you are too old for this and that…

Act your age… WTF does it mean?

I mean I am aware there were women before me and they acted some way or another but I am not them. None of them I am. I am myself, my only fucking one and only!!! I do not drink coffee or alcohol this means I am the biggest evil… why? No idea, I think when it comes to alcohol people are just strangely afraid that them drunk will look dumb and my sober mind will know it…

Come on!

Or when it comes to science… oh yes, always follow the footsteps… and what have I done? Well, I decided to make a path for myself, a new one, an yes, I was scolded for that because a young woman, oh yes, for sure she married young so she will have kids and will be a dumb, useless bimbo… yeas… I hear that many times so, I stopped talking. Stopped talking with people to people, about people… oh no, about, I am looking at you all and have the best free lab rats ever!

But, maybe we will come back to the subject… your life… Yeah, you think it is your and you can do what you want but still you end up making the same mistakes as your parents remembering still that you promised yourself never do this… Why? Because you don’t know other way? You are to scared to try different because it always make people talk, oh well, make them talk… you always can put your hat on and earphones and whatever… Come one, you can do this?!

You can!

Life is not only this what was and what will be, it is mostly now… so think, how are you feeling with yourself now? Doing this, looking like this, being where you are? Yeah, there are things you can change easily, there are also those which have consequences… problematic thing, but if you done A sometimes B is something what you just must follow, but maybe in your own way…

Life is a lot of paths.

Marriage, kids and being as others may be not for you… though they will talk, and good, make them also pay for looking at you! Listening to you. Do not be a cheap fun. Make of yourself a blissful moment, not for everyone…

And yes, there still will be days when you will have to act “normal”…

But only moments.

And even them you can make… you.

PS. Yes, others will always better know how you should act or what to do, wear… you can just nod and go your way, you can try to convince them, but it is pointless… what I do? I pretend I do not understand them… plus, I am scare of people so much that often I just run away and it is okay, it is me…

Okay…

The world is a pure madness…

I do not understand it at all.

I get trees and flowers, birds and poop on my window, because a huge seagull just decided to sit on my roof…

When they start they poop…

Such FYI, if you missed that fantastic knowledge.

LOL

I stroll through a shop and thing about bits I do not have and others call them: important.

Like all that glass… tools…

Like heels.

Or strange little figurines.

Or diamonds.

Or… fancy memories…

And why the heck memories and dreams count only when they are fancy?

Stupid.

I mean…

I mean

“I see world

I am scared

I am scared more

even more

that I am

that I thought

I can be

can compress

this fear

in me

in those arms

and other limbs

stomach

heart

head and senses

thoughts

ideas

overthinkings

in those dreams

which seem to be nothing

nothing now

when the world

is

fear

just fear

scary thing

and I am the witch?!

Evil witch?” Ch. J.

Be first

Be first, win it, win that, highest points, best awards, highest scores and promotion. Be the boss… and…

There is me asking why?

Why am I suppose to fight for it?

I know I am not stupid, I need no awards for it.

Come on!

Why am I suppose to prove something?

Why are we all?

Look back, how many times you were like: I should be first, I should be better?!

I know I always gave all from myself. But also…

I am sure that I was not interested in rivalry.

For me it is just… not me.

There was a time when I was first, and… oh well, have I ever been last? No idea, I do not remember… or just do not care.

Listen…

Listen

“Listen to the story of the wind
let it play with your hands
and senses
bring you the legends
from the abyss
sea gently deepest dreams
rivers and creeks
paddles and pond
lakes and woodlands
because it touches everything
the wind
the air
it marks the sky
and opens it for you
it breaks and creates
it just is and
is not
exists when you are hit by storms
but the gentle breeze

just leaves dancing…
like nothing and something
the power which suddenly disappears…

Just listen to the air
check the aromas
the sandy feeling from the south
cold northern kiss
bit complicated east
and western one
which is always a bit not enough.” Ch. J.

Hide

I mean… yeah, this is true, I hide.

I also often run away…

If something is too much, I am like, oh fuck it, and I go away.

I will not push myself if I am unwanted… I will step back… but if I want something, I will fight for it until I get it.

And probably hate it then… or feel not comfortable with it.

Yup, that is me, for sure.

Me having dreams and then…

Just having more of them, different one.

Because I change…

Though I hate changes, I change…

But this running away, yeah, it was always with me.

So it is a constant…

Good to know.

Stamps

Oh yes, there was the time when letters, cards, tiny messages were everything.

Or maybe when you were into someone but somehow wanted to not speak up but preferred to be silent…

… or just was a shy person.

You know…

Those times… to be honest, yes, I am one of those people who sends letters and cars, who is remembering about birthdays an other occasions, you know… simple thing, little card, a stamp, post… snaimail they call it now…

And it is a snail mail… I mean come on, from USA in a week, from Asia in two weeks, from Poland sometimes a month… I mean, wait, I live on an island but Poland is just right there… How the heck post from Sweden, Poland and Germany can take so much time? And yes, I asked, got the info that now PostNord can keep post for days or even longer! I mean why? What the fuck!!!?

Oh well, I can not fight with them.

Nope.

Danmark sold crowned post to Sweden, so it is no longer orange, it is blue and how I love blue it seems to me a bit strange that the country wants to loose all that power over the words. Word and little gifts because it is so much safer to use a courier. Trust me!!! It is maybe a bigger “stamp” but comes quicker!

Much quicker.

And somehow seems safe… somehow… I mean, okay, coming back to my obsession, I have an awful hadwritting and I am not getting younger so it will be worse! Come on, we know the drill, used hands, which touched too many graves, well this witch is an archeologist after all… still digging sometimes but mostly doing a surface research when it comes to outdoor adventures…

But…

Stamps!

We used to gather them, collect them, exchange… look how cool look the new ones from Danmark! Awesome, aren’t they?! And remember… it is sometimes easier to write something, safer, discretion is its name then… especially with my handwriting. LOL I sometimes can not read myself… Do not keep everything in a cloud!

But also do not keep your numbers and cards together!

And read a lot!