When I started…

First, when I was typing it, somehow it changed into: when I farted, and sorry, but I am still trying to figure it out how, and second one is, what about such awesome title? I mean really? How are you about a story: When I farted?

Juicy and aromatic?

Soo… are you interested? LOL

IMG_1768

I started painting over 10 years ago (yes, depression and anxiety made me to do it). Of course I wanted to, of course I felt that need earlier, but it was expensive, I had no place, there were too many excuses. Too many!!! Of course as a kid I had some art class. As most of kids in old-fashioned schools, then at the Uni, sorry, but archaeologist just got to learn how to draw pieces of ceramic and of course flint properly, so had that too. Still, it took me years, to finally play with my brush not only in the field, but on canvas.

Yummy, piny smelling canvases.

And then it became my obsession. Softness of brushes, finding perfect ones, trying to paint with other stuff – yes stuff, because it also included all me falling into fresh painting, so stuff. But one thing was just stable.

Blue.

Blue…

Prussian blue, ocean, blue, azure, celestial, cobalt…

… and black and white!

Wait, now I cam back to this farting, and am interested in the power of the fart combined with white canvas? What do you think? I mean really. Am I joking? Well… I love experiments, I am a scientist in artistic body!!!

Still, coming back to the beginning… I was so scared of other colors. I mean totally. It was like panic, when I had to add some yellow!!! But artists evolve. So then came colors. And photography. I also created sculptures from driftwood and had short journey with felting until my sinuses yelled: Hell no!!!

What next?

IMG_1846

Writing

I love writing.

I adore to write.

I just love it.

I love the process, I am fond of accessories. Even the pencil sharpeners can make me smile. Or pencils, I love those woody, those old-fashioned. Those still sooo… yummy graphite. And pens. And paper. Love that milky or even ecru color, fat one… As a kid I used to find newspapers… tasty.

Yeah… they used to be more healthy!

IMG_1693

I use pens and pencils, paper of course, and then… laptop, but paper must be first. Even if i then have problems in reading my own handwriting. It sucks! It reminds me of angry warriors on drugs walking in different ways, dressed differently and totally unable to decide who to attack.

Somehow I could no live without writing. Without all those warriors, co confused on my cards. Then so politely piled into files. I could not live without my stories, in fact making myself smiled or scared, frighten: how the heck all this can live with me, and my brain is still in one piece. Okay, biologically speaking more or less, right?

Maybe little stories, maybe crazy, maybe not important, but still… usually only mine. Because I do not like sharing them. Not all of them. I need to have something what is only mine. Of course I have blogs – 4 of them!!! 7smoki.eu and snebamse.dk and this one and bornholmdifferent.dk but still… nowadays 2 of them are totally TLDR blogs. Because I love words and playing with them, so I am like physically hurt when I can fit only two verses. I always need more.

TLDR… this is so nasty and rude in fact, but truly speaking… Do I want to be read? Do I really?

IMG_1715

Reflect unreflected

Sometimes all you have are others reflections… and you look at them, pretend, admire, hide in it, stick your body in it…

… you do not wanna look at yours own. And it is okay! Sometimes you do not wanna be yourself too. And this can be too. Sometimes you figure it out that all great artists had mental problems, and you have potential here too. Nothing to be a laughing matter, still, you can laugh! I am always reminding myself about it. I am crazy/mental, this means I can be one of the greatest!!! LOL

IMG_1694

Because in fact. What matters?

Nobody can tell you what is the most important thing in life. The afterlife could have few ides I guess but they prefer to stay silent… usually. So why do I have to reflect in my art only my life? Why I can not reflect this what is going on in my brain? And it is totally messy. It has stories which can build their own stores and…

Yeah, weird stuff.

Sooo… if you prefer to copy someone, if you prefer and feel saver when you act like somebody else, it is okay. It is your choice. We all can make them. We all pay for them, still it needs a lot of strength to be yourself sometimes… I mean really. Reflect whatever you want. Play with mirrors. Because life is short, and in fact your own face my not suit your crazy brain. Or change it. Wear masks and hide… I hide behind my camera, or in bushes. Yup, I do it to especially when I am all in photos, all taking them, all surrounded by shots, and there is someone walking towards me…

I run away or start to sing.

Why people like to bother me while I am working!

Reflecting unreflected… this could be a weird title of my exhibition 🙂

PS. Of course I am talking about copying and not copying art and selling it then… come one. Remember all my photos are for sale and my art too 🙂

IMG_1843

The edge

It is there, somewhere between water and rocks.

A line, border maybe, frontier, perimeter…

It is there…

IMG_1838

And I love to play there!!!

Because it is only mine. Like I was the one and only noticing it.

The Edge.

A place, or maybe only a thought? Hope surrounded by dreams? Maybe. For me it is here. It is physical. It is something I can touch, I can change, I can watch, and probably… I could destroy? Or maybe not? Maybe in fact it is something given, which I can only think I can have? Which is unable to be possessed?

Maybe…

I love to take photos of this place. Splashes, water drops, movement and silence, because even when it is stormy, they both are there. Silence and movement. Splashes, big drops of water, perfectly round, and those which… in fact everything here, in this place is everything, every shape in one time… because maybe this is the truth, the ultimate one we were looking for? That everything happens in one time.

Everything.

So you can chill… really.

IMG_1845

Pictures or words?

Somehow… I think people prefer pictures.

Photos!!!

People stopped reading years ago. So popular is TLDR! How can someone write something like this? How can someone show so much ignorance? So much… disrespect. You do not wanna read something, so do not do it, but why you are so stupid, to be so happy to show it off?

Why?

IMG_1731

So pictures or words?

For me? Words first. They are important interesting, combined with emotions they are everything… the sound of some of them can really arouse me… ekhm, in all matters. Yup, also sexual! LOL Words tickle me, words are important. Using this or other can really matter. Yes or no, hesitate or be sure… but pictures, paintings and photos, they can really have million words, but who gets them?

I mean really?

Ancient Egyptians had both. Pictures and words. But in fact everyone could see them, but not many could write and read. In fact only the chosen one. Books as we know them started to be popular and in fact available for everyone after II World War… and now we are just throwing it away. Why? The most popular on social media is what? Instagram? Snapchat or YouTube? Pictures… do you even listen to those people? I mean, really? Do we listen to each other? Do we write love notes? Do you? Birthday cards, letters? Do you leave simple notes for those important for you? Or you use those already written, just sign them with your name, or just two letters?

Do you still know how to do it with paper, pen and pencil? Or just a piece of charcoal? Or chalk? Or piece a piece of brick… I remember as a kid we had no fancy colored chalks, we had nature. And it worked for both: words and pictures.

Imagine a love letter, which makes you blush and wet…

Yeah, I never said this is a blog for kids. Not all words are for them either. You got to grow up to some of them, but also to pictures. You can see them, but in fact do not get them… not truly. Still…

Words or pictures?

Is it possible to have them both?

IMG_1710

Are you free?

I mean really and truly?

Are you free?

Do you remember that part of “Braveheart” and Mel Gibson yelling: FREEEEEDOM!!! Yeah, he was dying, so he was somehow ready to get it.

Freedom.

But you? Are you free?

IMG_0337

When we look at human beings they seem to be attached to so many things, so many ideas, so many problems which in fact are not theirs. The truth is people stopped taking care of themselves and all those around, and are so much more scared and moved by those thousands miles away…

There is a theory which says, that civilization took our freedom away, and you know what… I think I agree with that. Still I love my shower and prefer to poop to my white toilet than into bushy woods. So how to be free and have a toilet? Still so called wild tribes do not know meanings of: mine, yours, land, borders… they know they have to feed families and have a roof over their heads. And then they can have fun, and we? So called civilized? We go to work, and then work more at home…

Are we free?

Are our minds free and thoughts?

We may be living in democracy, but what if… mot of people are dumb? They will rule if it is a democracy, so…

The truth is even if you obey all laws, they can find something and take you everything… including life. But maybe freedom is after this life?

Maybe?

I know it everything sounds so nasty and depressing, but recently I really do not have happy thoughts. And I never promised you happiness. Archaeologist and artists are those always depressed and having anxiety… weird thing to be both.

Is freedom possible at all? Is it?

IMG_4478

Weird places?

Weird places, or maybe just special? More wild, more natural… more… exactly. There are fee places which are really one and only on Earth like Aokigahara, Bermuda Triangle… or this one, which I found recently Hoia Baciu. Oh my, this one is pretty special. And those trees. Trees always say truth.

Remember it!

IMG_1953

When it comes to my Island… she is special in all ways, but is also a piece of the secret line… one of ley lines. Spooky, right? There is so many legends here, secret stones, standing stones… and people still believing.

But one thing strikes me everyday… are those weird places, or maybe we lost something? We are no longer able to feel them? We have lost ability, or maybe strength? Or maybe we forgot? But still something pushes us there… makes us want to visit those places. Makes us worship them – remember most of churches are standing on pagan cult sites. So we are still connected, but do we know why?

Do we?

I was lying today on one of those stones, probably previously standing… marked with a pagan cross, and I felted different. Suddenly calmer. Suddenly not giving a crap. Suddenly fucking everything.

Suddenly… so tell me, how is it? How is it now? Is there on;y science present in your life or only religion? Or maybe there is something more?

… can you find place for MORE?

IMG_4528

To sleep or not to sleep?

Oh yes…

To sleep.

Always.

To sleep.

Sleep with no phone next to you. Sleep in a dark special room, or at least place which is made only for dreaming…

Do not let anyone tell you that you can sleep less, that it is okay, that you can be more productive, or some other shit. Yes, I am old enough to call it SHIT. Do your own research, read dissertations. Listen to your body, and sleep… Just sleep. And if you have problems with sleeping, go to a doctor, because lack of sleep is the most perfect, most amazing and useful torture. Ask ONZ. Really.

IMG_4524

And this problem from the other side… sometimes I do not want to wake up. Because even nightmares are now much better than this what is going on with this world. Yesterday on a busy road a stupid woman was taking a photo standing in a middle of it… Really. Road. Busy. Cars. Driving quick. Human being suddenly in front of your car… I think I am done with mu hope for humanity.

Done.

I prefer my dreams.

PS. Remember all photos are for sale, those on Facebook IBornholm and Kobaltowa Wrona too 🙂 Paypal (150DKK), mail and you can print is as you want 🙂 Whatever size you want. So please… buy them, do not steal them. Bigger size is better LOL And I am a poor artist. Crazy poor… And of course I am not talking about photos of my face. You are not so crazy to want it, right? LOL

And if you can not, at least please click on those commercials, that it money for me. For more writing, creating, and mostly for my research about Bronze Age symbolism of a hjulkors. Cross in a circle… LOL I promised myself that I will not do it, but now I am struggling, really.

IMG_2154

Vacation

Well, I do not have any…

I never had.

Maybe as a kid but it was so traumatic, that I do not want to talk about it. I just can not afford vacation. And can you imagine archaeologist/artist having one? I mean really? Just lying on the beach and sunburning? Because I can not… or maybe only I am so always ready to discover something. Write down new theories, ideas, just do something, anything, I mean really…

Unable to be only peace and quiet in mind.

IMG_3628

Or maybe this is my peace and quiet?

Being busy all the time?

Because how can you turn off your imagination? Everyone knows it works the best when you are ready to sleep, when you are slowly falling into this amazing darkness, all those stories… oh yes, this is the time, when imagination is up, and all you have to do is write something down, but… how to choose between writing stories and being a part of them, in your dreams?

How?

PS. Remember all photos are for sale, those on Facebook IBornholm and Kobaltowa Wrona too 🙂 Paypal (150DKK), mail and you can print is as you want 🙂 Whatever size you want. So please… buy them, do not steal them. Bigger size is better LOL And I am a poor artist. Crazy poor… And of course I am not talking about photos of my face. You are not so crazy to want it, right? LOL

IMG_3641

Fairytales

I started to read very early. This is why I stopped being a genius kid, you know. I was so not interested in school and all that stuff, all I wanted were books. And those stories. And all those weird things which… started to be visible in so called regular world too. Because imagination was growing. Like a huge oak.

Fat one… with many branches.

IMG_4319

What did I start from?

Well, I was reading everything. I mean really. I was a kid who raised itself, so had no boundaries and a small library next doors. Oh this was so evil to let a child read… especially a girl. I mean really. Girls who read think too much, are smart, intelligent and zingy!!! Even when they love only fairytales. But those real ones. Andersen and Grimm brothers without that weird cut offs. They were bloody and harsh. They were true… and still I did not grew up to be a psychopath. Or maybe… wait, I will check. Nope, I got only one closet and no skeletons there, just candles, few clothes and weird stuff.

Sooo… why nowadays kids can not ready fairytales. Like even Moomins Stories? Because what? The Author – who I love totally – was who she was? Free and different? Tove… if I lived in your years, I think we could be friends. Those weird. Every one would have her fav ever rock and sitting there, writing and painting or drawing… and maybe not talking at all. Maybe preferring silence and island… You created the character which is my own freedom. My real one… Little My!!!

And now she always reminds me to be pissed.

To be nervous.

Just to show emotions. Even if as a woman, you will always hear: are you mestruating? Why are you so pissed, is it PMS? Nope… I am just done with stupid people. With dumb humans…

IMG_5654

Sooo let your kids read… and let their imagination grow. But not only those pinkish books. Those always good princessy… Let them for something dark ad twisted too. Because this is what the world is. Especially now, when parents do not care about raising kids, and kids hit their TEACHERS! Bully them!!! And teachers can do nothing…

I blame you parents. I blame you mothers…

PS. Cool link, read it…  It is just amazing!!!

IMG_3635