3 pieces of a harbour

Really.

I am that weird that I consider creating a some kind of division of a harbor. Okay, not division, more like a scientific fission? Of every harbor.

Yes.

Sooo… for me it is always the mighty 3. The nature, boats and reflections. Because I am that crazy. LOL  Here we will talk about number 1.

Nature.

The surroundings.

I should mention in this point that I am talking about small harbors, atypical, not mostly visited, hidden very often, which are still really a semi wild part of the coast. Because here it is… can you see it?

Can you know?

Me had to run away, there was a weird seagull not liking me at all. And during that time all egg were hatched, so no idea what she or he was protecting… I bet that was she, I really do!!! Angry bitch!!!

Still can you see it?

Those dark rocks are still natural here, only few added, bit deepen. Fulled only with few boats, a weird things which I have no idea what to do with…

Scales.

A place.

And of course then there come reflections, but still, wait, first… what I wanted you to answer me was: What is a harbor for you?

Is it a place to park your boat, hide, finally kick a stone, stop wobbling in the waves. Stop being too salty? Is the harbor still something what can be small, quiet and not covered in tourists? With shops and all that stuff? Where birds meet humans, and humans try to calm down nerves… or swim. Take a dip?

Really?

Do people till see homes as their harbors?

Do they?

Does it matter? Really? Or maybe it does not?

Maybe… this what I have on my island, what is so inspirational, in fact is nothing for the rest of the world?

Home…

Home is where…

Okay, there is so many smart sentences that I will not create one, and will not quote one either. Sorry, tired of all that uplifting shit. People posting oh those so jolly phrases to get more likes. Hey, here I am, depressed, with anxiety, mostly gloomy and now pissed because a fly is trying to eat half of me!

But, I just came back home from vacation and probably, for the first time in my life they where vacations… okay, at least one day was! The rest was busy and worky, but still, different place, cool things. Not that here things are not cool… because everything here is so arty. Art is everywhere. Art is this place, my Island, art is or maybe… we all are art? Come on, this is a cool quote, right? LOL

But still, what do you think of such kind of advertising art? And shop of course. Because I think people forgotten that art is for sale because behind it is a hungry painter, sculpturer… you know, an artist! I do not get it why people see artists and scientist as those who in fact… do not work at all.

Why passion can not be work?

Why your work is not your passion?

Oh come on, even I do things which are nasty, but still… passion is a must. Or PMS, you can use it to clean up the house. Works for me perfectly. LOL And I am not a perfect housewife. Do they even still exist? I mean really?

But… I am back. back on my Island. Hot here!!! But green again too!!! And cool! Here everything is cool.

Even that fly sucker which will be… splash.

Amen!

No internet

I was on vacations…

No internet.

I mean really, no internet in a cottage, amazing view, wilderness and all that stuff and tomorrow I am suppose to be back to so called, still my own, normality and… I can not. I am not sure if I really want to. Really.

Never felt this way.

Internet, computers… they were never a big part of my life but now people who I really like are there, not around me and it is okay. Better and easier for me. For my weird mind. Still cutting it off made me feel, quieter, slower, finally free…

I think I will do it more often.

Work and not touch internet. Stay with my archeo-work stuff, books and pencil, brushes an paper and… leave that other world. Because in fact contacting those who we like the most once a day is enough, right? We got to contact ourselves more. And let us be, breath, not worry, sleep, be lazy… shit, this will be hard, but I have to try it.

I am sitting in a white cottage, ready – almost – to leave and I know, I have discovered something. Got something back. Lost something. I miss my Island, but also do not want to come back. Geeez… I am a mess, a huge one, but still, wrote so many pages, filled all this whiteness and I am ready to put it into the internet world. But how to do it without touching it? How? Something has changed…

I hate changes.

And I feel weirdly guilty that I do not “like”, “share” or “follow” everything… this weird guilt is just awful. But also sincerely cleaner… yes, I am aware it may sound freaky but I do. This is how I feel. And I do not even have a phone!!!

PS. Wait for my stories and remember about my shop! Please!!! LOL Those paintings need homes!!! Prices are negotiable.

Watching the sky…

I am far far far away.

Watching the sky, the sea, woods and rocks.

Nothing more.

Who am I kidding? Artists and those who love to create, think, observe, are never on vacations! You can not turn off your brain, right? And all those roofs are so amazing… so mythical, metaphorical…

So much.

So many.

We all need roofs and the sky of course. But what is more important? Or maybe… it depends on weather? Maybe?

But still, when you watch the sky, how the clouds look like? Anthropomorphic, or just like a crazy bunch of marshmallows? Because I often see dragons and witches. Very often. And eyes watching me…

Yeah, I bet Freud would have something to tell me!

But still. I am on vacation. And very busy now… creating the future. LOL

Sometimes…

Sometime everything is clear and correct, sunny and bright and suddenly you find a head… amazing, perfect head…

You could switch, but it is not your head, right?

No way.

Too heavy, and that nose, no hair…

And thoughts… you know nothing about this head, right? So thoughts and dreams suddenly become so important and abilities. Suddenly you find them inside of your… forgotten head, brain, something between the ears! And then you meet someone headless and he tells you a story about peace and quiet, and the brain which is no longer bothering him and you start to think… what if…

But nope. You know he will come back for hi heads. We humans look so stupid without them. LOL

Your head is important. Use it not only for make up, hair or nice hats and glasses… use the brain!!! And dream…

DNA

There is that whole “heritage DNA” thingy around on YouTube and in adverts, and it pisses me off!!! Because the facts are, if you look deeply in DNA, archaeology and anthropology, still there are those two beings which are our ancestors. It is very possible that we all had Adam and Eve. Weird right?

But still… what I want to say… that popularity of DNA tests only tells me one, very sad thing!!! Depressing. Describing how we had changed, we, so called modern human beings, because I still deeply believe, that all those tribes still untouched, not changed, still do it. Still are… much more humans than we are…

Talking.

Telling stories.

It everything, that whole jazz, means how little we talk to our relatives, how little we know about our grandparents and grand-grandparents and… before people were able to write and read our minds, abilities to remember stuff, were so much bigger.

I do not know my father.

Never knew him. My grandpa was hidden from me for 19 years and in fact I was told that he was dead, so imagine me so surprised when he came to me, for a visit, fucking zombie or what? I was shocked…

But still it was only one line. My dad side is a mystery to me and it is very possible, that it will forever be this way. Living with that lack of knowledge who my ancestors were is… painful. I mean really. Aching.

Come on! Look in a mirror. Read books, gather knowledge. We all are amazing mixes of souls before us. But much more important than this how we look like is… what kind of stories we have inside. What kind of weird dreams and memories or even abilities. Issues with some things and love for others. Impossible to be explained. Here are our ancestors. Here they all are. And that “heritage DNA” is just something to take cash from you. I can tell you that you are really white, or you had some Asian or African ancestors. Shape of your nose – not this one changed by the cosmetic surgeon! Come on!!! Your hair, eyes, shape of your mouth… We are open books!!!

Dig into your past. Grab your living elders and take them for a walk and…

LISTEN. Till they are here! Talk to them. Not only to those which are blood related to you, but also those lonely ones needing someone to listen. We all need that elderly wisdom. We are loosing it…

Notice me

I saw a kid few days ago… walking with his face glued to his phone.

Well, when I was in his age, I was the same. Only I had a book. Still have books instead of all that plastic. Plastic hurts me.

Still… so, I saw this zombie like kid and was like: hey! See me! Notice me!!! And nope, it was not about me, but about this wall. Amazing, sunny wall. Not yellow, not orange, just being a pure light. Pure fun.

And I do not mean only the color but also the structure. And this blue sky and that lonely cloud like creature… Why, why he was not looking at it, touching it, becoming friends – yes, with a wall, with a home – and maybe creating his own story, his own fairy tale, his own creation, world, which can make him busy while coming back from school? Playing with imagination. Pretending, or maybe really seeing this what is invisible for the rest of the world? I mean really?

Don’t people do it anymore?

Because I do. Yes I do it still!!!

I even talk to the trees, walls, cows, dogs… every plant can be a magical one, every doors can watch me, every window can, well, can do everything!!! Dragons and unicorns are normality!!!

Does anyone do it still?

Or is it now also a mental disorder?

Destroy and create…

Destroying my art

Why am I doing it?

Because there is no place to keep it all, and it is overwhelming, and I can not create new, develop myself, and it in fact cares me. Is depressing to see piece of my heart and soul unwanted.

Not loved.

Stop saying me: sell it, donate…

Do you want my art? Really? Answer yourself, or just stop being protectionist. Stop being weird painful shit in my ass. Admit you do not get it. I can explain. Do not pretend you care!!! This is the worst.

Art is also destroying.

Destroying means not only place for new but also weird, cleaning, almost catharsis like feeling!!! From one way it is so sad, so many memories, feeling, so much pain, I do cry a lot, but from other side… it is like breathing again.

And I need it.

To all trying to be smarter than spirits: You all are forgetting one thing. Until sold… this art is mine and only mine. I can do with it whatever I want!!! If you wanna help me, buy it. Do not JUST SAY things. Spit out words. Your laptop, phone or whatever may also be enough of your fingers hitting it so hard. Really.

PS. My shop is here… you can always check it and then contact me on Facebook for smaller prices. I have decided to destroy some of my paintings, so if you want one, hurry. Nope, not writing to make you sorry for me, but I just have no space to keep them and… in fact I like destroying them. Kind of artistic catharsis for me, and I am poor, so this is all fun I have!!! Remember prices are always negotiable!!!

You can get even 70% off

North Sentinel

I was wondering recently how it is with this modern world… and well, it i awful, but still there is hope. Still some tribes are left, although monitored by scientist, but there is one tribe which welcomes all white help with… arrows.

Smart people!

Of course I am talking about North Sentinel.

Amazing land.

And awesome, green and white and blue island.

Some people, a tribe probably.

Living as they want to…

… they have amazing woodlands, beaches and all that stuff. What is most important, not wanting all that “help” from o called white people. Not wanting contact, not being interested. Oh my, I so get them. Running around naked, having food. Do you know that even tsunami did not much harm to them, although few white so called humanitarians brought enough viruses which killed so many of them still, they somehow… survived.

I am so curious how do they live. Of course I have ideas, many of them, studied archaeology, anthropology and ethnology so I can imagine… and you know what, it is not a bad life when you have no idea about TV and Lady Gaga! What kind of art they create, what stories swirl around the fire every evening? How often they dance? How often have fun? What do they believe in?

How about the families?

Oh my, it could bring so many information but still, I prefer them to live. Live in this normal their own way, which for so many internet users is evil. Who suddenly claim that they should be given food and all that stuff, bet LV bags too! And taxes, gods, ideologies etc. And… How the heck people so easily forgotten about us humans being able to heal ourselves with nature. Nature which we still get… or more like: they got. They are not harming nature. Living freely… maybe this is the thing? That they are free and none of us is in fact. Think. How free are we? Those people do not want us so why are we pushing their boundaries? I mean really? Why? Except scientifically ways I see no way no need to change them. Yes, they probably can not read. Guess what! They can remember how you can not. This is simple. So simple.

Living with nature is also a civilization!!!

Leave them alone.

I know there is that line around them which should protect them, but still weird people: humanitarians, missionaries… want to change them.

Why? Because they do not fit your minds, drawers you created for everyone? Guess what, you can not get me either! And change too!

Stand on…

So often people like to say: stand on truly behind your believes and dreams and they will come true… well, so here I am, standing.

WTF! Why it is not working?!

Why? Because standing is not enough. You got to take it and work on it. Maybe miracles happen, but some of us do not even notice them and some, well, maybe we are here to be miracles makers? Maybe?

Still…

Maybe we are even gods? Who cares. When we are cold we need to wrap ourselves or make fire. Wen we are hungry we got to eat. When we need to… well, when we need to, you know what, we just can not say: NO, to our bladders! LOL When we feel arty, we need to do something with it. But also remember, we can not kill that moron in a loud car with loud music because it is not… civilized.

Fuck it! I am nature! You can not civilize me! I will let him live only because it would got messy and I hat touching people LOL

Everything can be called in the way you feel it better. In the way you can live with it. Definitions are created by winners. But also same with history. Soo… what to do? How to live when you try to stand up, and somehow you can not. Not anymore? Because suddenly those who are not “good people” are those the best. Because all those definitions are so misty that you know suddenly nothing except…

… except this sand and the sea. One is soft, dry or wet, the other one can be loud or quiet, always wet, bit salty.

Maybe it is time to change it and just lie down? On the waves, on the sand, or on the grass if you have some? And think… what the heck are we doing? In fact, what are we dreaming about? Is this everything so much?

Or maybe too much?