A Crow story…

Since I remember, they were here… around me. There, around me. And in the all mighty between…

As a kid I was not a fan.

I was scared a bit, or maybe like overwhelmed…

I did not want them to eat from my bird feeder because I was worried about little birds and…

And now, I know they are always somewhere watching me.

The funniest thing? They know it too!!! LOL

I remember one day, I was waiting for my husband sitting on a wooden bench, maybe a bit hidden – come on, I am short – and one of them started to yell at me.

Loudly!!!

I had no idea what she was on about.

She was approaching and making all those sounds, but not like someone angry, more like: Hey stupid, look there… I did not look.

Then, suddenly my Husband appeared. Not from a bus station, nope. You know why? Because when he came he could not see me, so went home – luckily not so far away, and did not find me there, so came back here.

And that crow was telling me to look back.

Then was only lauching at both of us.

Oh my, how she was laughing.

That was few years ago… now I am the one watching them, feeding them, and taking photos. Like those, on my village beach.

Calm and…

Magical.

One and only place to swim and to just sit down.

And dream… and listen to birds, and feel them…

Them watching me.

A moment?

Sometimes it is only a moment. A part of time so easy to loose… to not notice. And sometimes it is so much more…

Whole hour or longer until the sun switches its rays, until everything…

Disappears.

Go away.

But until this moment I have those invisible brushes and so much paint which in fact is called water.

But is not water.

Can not be, right?

And having in fact no boundaries… because the sea is huge canvas…

… everything here just is.

Different in every corner, changing with a gentle breeze or switching suddenly when the sun hides behind the clouds.

A show…

Neverending.

Always stunning, always…

Surprising.

So much.

And then, you thought nothing else will happen, it happened and…

I mean really.

Okay, I was frozen in one place, but this show was for free!!!

Come on!

Totally.

Just for me.

Or I was telling it to myself, because why not?

Maybe someone is listening, but if the answers look like this, I love them.

Very much.

Very very very much.

The mighty red again

I mean… I somehow can not run away from it.

It is everywhere!

The red.

Redness.

The color which is always here, always close, always…

And I feel so not comfortable in front of it, still… it hypnotizes me.

It suits everything, is vibrant, still has so many shades.

And this blue and white…

And some gold.

Sparkling!

Somehow it seems so evil to me… but maybe it is only me.

The one who is scared of red and orange and violet sometimes…

But look at those colors playing with each other.

So not caring what color they are, or maybe… they do care?

Do they?

Really?

Watching the colors not melting, always being themselves reminds me of so many humans… who were one and only.

So many who nowadays are called weird.

Walking again

Yes, I am boring.

I love walking.

Love feeling pain in my ass and legs, love to be sweaty and… oh, I forgot to mention that I do not like to just walk slow? Sorry… I prefer quick walks, long walks, full of passion, amazing views and squads…

Because I take millions of photos.

If I can not take photos, I am so not going!

Oh come on… this is my way of living.

What is wrong in it? LOL Even if so… you do not have to do it. You can just walk or run, nobody is forcing you to be me. In fact, please do not even try to be me. It is a very dangerous job. LOL

Especially when it is windy.

And dirty job too…

But for such paintings… I am into it. I do not care about the surface I am suppose to lie down on to capture them.

I want them.

For a moment they are only mine!

Really mine.

But… when you are close to the ground you can also calmly find those little ones. In fact there are places where they are like… Hi, we are watching you, you weirdo. LOL Where are your wings?

Well, they are hidden. Well hidden.

For later.

They always make me smile.

This is why a bird feeder and a small bird bath is a must in our garden.

And sorry, no cats allowed.

Because… I wanna look at them.

Okay, would love to hug them, but I am aware they having their own space, wilderness is so much more important than me wanting to hold a sweet, fluffy, warm birdy.

LOL

Okay, you are a cutie!

You know it, I know it, we know it… oh just stop it, I can not handle more!!!

Okay, maybe one more photo?

But when you walk, you can suddenly find something alive and in fact being just a window… simple, watching you… full of all those reflections but also with such a strong personality. Amazing, big, to learn from.

This redness and then only a piece of glass…

Or maybe…

A veil, road to another world?

For sure this tiny breaking is here for something.

For sure.

News from the sea

Yes, it is still here. Still hiding treasures, mysteries and all that stuff. And of course there are seagulls, and they are…

Jazzy!

Looks at this one… so happy to be here, such a star!

Okay, this one hungry, for sure, or just showing off… my island accepts everything, so crazy is also okay.

But the truth is…

We all have this time when the sea amazes us more than usual.

Spiritual and even mentally.

And sometimes it is just there.

One, wet pond. People say it is big, we can google it, but from Gudhjem it is just… the view. From one side soil and rocks, from the other… water.

Waves…

For me…

Colors.

Always reflections.

Always…

Sometimes it is like there is, under this surface, a small painter with a huge paint brush and is playing… having fun.

And sometimes I think it is just impossible.

Unreal.

Nope?

Oh come on, agree with me! I am sure a seagull thinks about it differently. For you it is more than the sky and rocks! It is fun, food, playground and meeting place.

For me… it is still something unreal.

Really unreal. LOL

It has so many faces, wavy, calm, stormy and this peaceful which is the scariest, because you know, that peace means war coming…

But… sometimes it is just a painting.

A big one.

Huge one.

Okay, does size matters? Really?

A walk 2

It is so easy, but for someone like me sometimes… the hardest thing is to leave my home. The scariest one…

Still, it is so worth it.

So I put earphones in and put the music loud…

And I hear nobody, only myself. And it is okay. It is the only way for me to be outside… still, people do not understand it.

Even if they see me taking photos, somehow they wanna attack my space. Why? No idea. I am not a party animal, I think it is quite visible.

I mean really!

I smile… and I always run away. From behind of the tree I see them confused and hurt. Only because I am not like the others? Why? Why this is so wrong to feel okay when alone? Why?

I am not one like others.

Let me be… like one of those wild animals.

Do not approach.

Do not feed!!! LOL

But still… even with all this knowledge about mental heath people still…

Wanna make us their way.

Carve us… into a different shape.

Why I do not feel this need? Have no heroes. Never was crazy about some band, actor etc. Always, somehow, wanted to be the best me.

And me is not like everyone else.

A walk

Come with me or a walk… it is early autumn, drought taken its harvest… it is still so warm, but there is something in the air.

Winter is coming…

Or more like here… will not come, but still, we have little hope for some snow.

For now… there is only warmth in the air, still green trees, some burnt ones and all those colors… starting to play with my mind.

And bridges, where you have to pay trolls to came through.

Really…

See, they are there. Whole family, so be ready. They like candies and chocolate, so no worries. No gold needed, but sometimes… well, you never know.

Never!

Because here, on my island it is always magical, always and everything. Fairies, gnomes, trolls, witches…

Or maybe just mushrooms?

You never know… never! LOL

But maybe he knew? Still, because I caught him playing with some poop, he run away from me when I sniffed him.

I am afraid it is something bad in beetle world.

To be sniffed around. LOL

But still… he was so cute.

And those trees, branches, colors.

Just the woods, rocks, moss.

And leaves which whisper old stories.

Because every leaf counts, if you did not know.

And suddenly… see, I am aware it looks like paradise. We are not perfect here, but cattle, sheep and goats run around freely in many places, so be careful where you put your feet. Really careful. And be ready to be…

… amazed by cuteness. 

And beauty of a simple stuff.

Because here everything is simple. Okay, sometimes people make it complicated, but still, a walk is so simple, and so amazingly complicated if you rethink it after. All those steps, beauty, photos, whispers, songs from the clouds…

Everything…

And how is your blue doing?

The idea of a color in fact touching human soul, mind, feelings is nothing new.

We all have favorite colors, and even there favorite shades…

… we dislike colors, we often can not look at something what we would love if it was for example… green.

What we would desire.

I love blue.

It is obvious, because I often talk about it.

But still… there was a time when one shade was the one I hated to the core. That was this military kind of dark, deep blue, which was between warm and cold. Which everyone had to wear at school… 

I hated it.

Still prefer not to use it in my palette.

Just because…

But do you know I do not like brown. Just do not… and green sometimes. Red makes me feel naked and angry, what is so scientifically proved!

But still…

Blue… why the heck blue is a symbol of depression? “I feel blue”.

Why?

What is in blue, that it forces me to want things I do not need but still, I want them because they are in this perfect blue, cobalt blue shade?

Blue… why are you my Master?!!! LOL

Inspiration?

People often ask me about 3 things: why, how to have inspiration and why… Because 1 and 3 are just impossible to answer, if you feel the will of creating, you just create. You do it. You must, if not… your brain will overflow!

For sure one of the biggest inspirations is myself. And nope, I am not bragging. I just am okay with myself. I mean with my inner self which for most of doctors is unusual and needs strong pills… my dreams, geeez it is like movies, I do not have TV, barely watch anything, so it all comes from myself…

What now is somehow scary.

This baby was not scary, although probably poisonous. Still, great inspiration, right?

Or this.

Or…

Waterlilies were always such a huge inspiration for painters and poets, for storytellers and simple writers.

Because of those wax almost flowers…

And that water.

Reflections.

Greenery.

And the water.

Blue and calm.

Or just this kind of redness. So special…

From one side scary, from the other bit regal.

Or maybe…

This one.

How funny it is.

How cute, cuddly, until it poops on your coat or car or window or… eats your ice cream when you are still have your tongue there…

Yup. There is so much inspiration around and in you. Just listen. Just dig deeper! Just give yourself a chance! But no worries. The mighty truth is… not everyone got to be an artist. Like not everyone is… or maybe everyone is an artists only some of us have not find the chance yet?

The green… or waiting for a ferry.

Because this is what it was.

Waiting time.

And watching the sky changing into that green, weird abyss.

I mean really.

Of course I am aware that there is that phenomena when the sun touching the horizon and changes a bit into green blob, still…

The whole sky?

Okay, it was a weird day and weird weather.

And a looooong time…

With nothing to do…

Okay, I could read, but that sky was so cool.

I could not go out and run around the place, but still…

I could watch.

The amazing moment.

The sun doing what it does the best…

Shine…

And change simple stuff – simple in this area of Ystad…

Into treasures.

Precious stones and art.

Changing.

Really…

And then suddenly it all changed.

Went away.

In a blink of my eye.

Okay, maybe two blinks.

And darkness appeared and I was driving home.

This is already taken on my island… just colors.

What I love the most!