The spring push

Do you also have it…

… this weird feeling, totally obsession to plant something, to clean up, to just threw out and have new… to play with soil, wake up ants which annoyingly wanna eat you. They do not wanna be friendly with me. Nasty ants! Oh… a worm. Lovely worm, will eat the soil and poop it, thanks to what it will be puffy…

Yup, nature is amazing when you think less about it.

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About birds having sex above your toilet when you do number 2!

I mean really. Sparrows. We have the whole tribe there, and when you do your stuff, well, they sing to you, and talk to you, and it is totally weird, but also very cool!

More or less, I need to play with soil. Nope, not a huge garden, just few pots, maybe few spots to have herbs which will be okay for bees and butterflies… and will smell nicely, and will be also ready to drink… this is all. But I need it dramatically when this time comes. And to throw up old stuff and to have something new…

Do you also?

PS. Now when I write, paint or read… half of me sits on a still cold terrace. And it is awesome. Birds pooping around and singing, and of course all those flowers blooming slowly and all that green stuff and… I need a blanket. I do not get concrete cities anymore. I do not get not having at least a plant in your surrounding. I just do not. I need my grass, simple daisies and bushes, and weird crows looking at me a bit like at more stupid relative. You know, the one who always embarrasses you…

Cool, right?

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April

How?

I mean really?

How she does it?

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I was walking almost everyday and she still managed to surprise me! Brown leaves are gone, disappeared under the green leaves and buds ready to open up. White, pink, and yellow buds.

I get it, we had to steamy days, then havgus, misty and cold, and what? She just done it under night gently wrapping? Just to scream SURPRISE when I entered my friendly woods? But still… how? I mean it must be magic, right? Elves, trolls and all those cute creatures, which we feed whenever we got something tasty? Must be. Because I see no other option. Ockham’s razor, right?

Must be…

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Storytellers

There was a time, when they were a simple rear. All you had to do was to feed them, give them place to sleep, take care of them a bit, and in advance you could listen to stories. Like TV, radio and YouTube in one.

And even more…

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But this was the mighty past.

Can we still listen? Now? With all those addiction to our bodies? All those toys?

My Island belongs to Danmark, although Danmark too often prefers not to remember about us… Danish is one of those languages which get not complicated, but people can not in fact understand one another. Totally. The most common word which you can hear is: hvad/what? People do not get each other. Or maybe can not listen? This is a huge problem. For not so big country…

So… Can you listen and get it?

Do you still read books?

Can you talk with someone without your phone? Without checking emails? Okay, I know I live in a Smaller End of The World, and I see more trees and beaches and pebbles than humans, but still… I see them. Phones. People riding a bike and checking emails. Are you really ready for a suicide? Oh yes, you will not listen to me, right?

Yeah…

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Painting, what is it? How it happens to someone?

It just happens.

Sorry, but this is how it is. Some of us do it since childhood, some were killed in this sphere, when informed: you can not do it. Some… See, if you look for expression your feelings, stories in your head, you wanna let your brain go into your fingers, cushions or just fingers, when you wanna take out fears from yourself… you find tools. One of them can be painting. If you find a right brush. If you touch it. It does not matter, than ages ago you looked at friends, and thought: nope, i can not do it…

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If you feel a need, you find it, and often you start from painting. Just playing, then maybe disappearing for hours, having every piece of pants and shirts in spots. Just because… you discovered something new. New to do, but also new inside of you. But very often those in to painting, also check cameras. It is not a secret that now I paint less and you can catch me taking photos for hours. I can spend day by day just outside, finding paintings… already made. Already created!!! It includes a lot of exercises, squats and stretches, lot of walking, lot of breathing heavily, but still…

I miss painting.

Just that sitting in front of canvas, the smell, my hands moving, but still… I can not. I have no idea why, I am trying. I need it. I am slowly coming back. But what will happen with this huge come back? Who cares. My demons wanna get out!!!

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UFO?

Do I believe?

I have no idea?

But suddenly my Island got UFO crazy. See, we have that thingy called trolling, when mostly guys swim around and fish… and one of them, who still says: I do not believe in aliens, saw this.   

Yup, looking weird.

Yes, I got no idea why he had no phone to take a photo? Especially in those modern days, when everyone except me is always prepared and stuck to a phone or Ipad, UFO thingies still have those weird photos, right? Always shaky, out of focus. Yes, I know this that the energy of UFO could mess with our machines, but still…

I do not know. Looking up, I get it that there is a lot of free space, so it could not be wasted, I mean, there could be, maybe even should… be intelligent livings. But still, do they see us as intelligent too? I mean really…

I start to doubt it.

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Then… after this spotted UFO thingy over the waves – close to my part of Island, suddenly something like this appeared over the rooftops and… Now, I only think, we are waiting for more, right?

Maybe a nice, grey guy with a huge head and big black eyes? Or maybe more tourists? Those who are UFO crazy?

But still, do I believe in Aliens. I mean those real. Those special, those totally different? I have no idea. Logic says, there could/should be some of them, but why they could find us interesting? I mean really?

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Purple

In fact purple and violet.

Violet and purple.

Or maybe purple or violet? Because in fact… what are the differences?

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Yes, here is a link to Wiki… it says a lot, but not much of this what I already know. And spectral color… still, is it violet or purple? Or maybe… Oh my too much thinking, but do you know how many kinds of purple is?! Look under this link. For ages people created so many kinds of purple that head hurts!

There is so much meaning in those two colors. Especially in those mixes of blue and red. Look at it… blood and sky gives you purple. Add more white and it gets erotic. Add too much of one or another and then… there is something new, this is why I hate using paint just from a tube. It is no fun at all! No!!! I always have to mix it. And when it comes to purple, kinds of violet or green and orange… I always mix. Not always when it comes to pink. No idea why? Maybe because I use it not often.

PS. Please do not think too much where some of colors originally come from… squeezed from a slime’s ass… yuck! LOL

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An Island

I figured out recently, that I do not, I can not, I am unable to imagine… how to live somewhere else. In a place where there is more people, huge apartments, homes, a lot of cars and people. In fact those are my nightmares. How to not live on an Island. And you know what, I bet there are people who could find it weird. People who find islands closed spaces, scary, good for vacations, but nothing else.

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And this is okay to me. More space is cool. More space for me, less humans, brilliant! More nature, all those crocuses now blooming, and snow-bells and those blue which I do not know what re they called. All those cute buds on branches. When you put your ear close to them, you can hear them singing about flowers, leaves and then… of course fruits. I can hear their stories about past years, about those plums and cherries. About those apples and pears. They can be really sexy, trust me, and naughty too!

And this blue sea… white beach and guys in gummy boots fishing. Or just standing in the water, because they find it cool.

Because being only with nature and your passions, I mean being in fact wit yourself is fun! Try it. Try to paint something and ask no one for suggestions or improvements. Really. Paint whatever you want, love it, and be proud. Nobody else got to be proud of you. It is not a must. Really. Do things for yourself. Do them because they make you happy. Because they make you breath freely and do not ask if it is good on social media. Enough with nasty judgments! Art is art… if you hate it it is okay, if you love it, it is okay too… because art means feelings and passions and moving brains, so… Stop it. Do not ask others how to finish you painting. Because your painting is you. And only you.

Yup, it is easier when you live on an Island. It is easier if you do not have people ready o judge around, sealing your happiness only because you walked, did not run, and now running is trendy and fancy… like weird stuff from warm countries. What is wrong with our food? Don’t you people see it, that buying fancy seeds, in fancy you kill forest, because all those people will plant more of those, because rich white humans trust, that they will get younger from it… Oh my… Yeah, sorry. We all will get old. Yup. Nothing can stop it! So what for making life harder?

Paint your painting and live with it… paint it to be comfy for you, and maybe only you. Be unique to the end.

PS. Yeah. Happy Birthday to me. Too much thinking again. Sorry LOL not sorry, but LOL.

PS. Remember all my photos are for sale!!! It take only 150DKK each (less if you buy more than 3), paypal and your email, and you can print it however you wanna and have them on your wall. Look for photos on IBornholm page and blog, on Miś Śnież – wolność dla pluszaków page and blog and here Kobaltowa Wrona.

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Sick sick sick

Do you know how much expression you can discover when you sneeze on you finished painting?

Do you?

How amazing everything looks when you have fever and all the colors just dance in front of you, chat and tell weird stories?

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Do you?

Or do you know that feeling, when you suddenly fall asleep… on canvas.

Yeah… I am sick.

And there is something exotic in painting when feverish. When shaky and snotty. Something different. And maybe also… something psychotic? You know not exactly arty, more like visions coming out, putting you into your bed, and doing all the work for you.

Life have so many fun… when you let yourself to be crazy.

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Spring

Oh yes. It is here… YAY – sarcastically. Sorry, I miss my winter, but, this is how it goes, right? Flowers, grass, leaves, fruits, rotten, sleeping, and again. Circle of life, which recently humans do not get really.

I mean really.

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Sooo.

Hello spring.

Have fun.

To make a little celebration, I walked for over 4 hours for you, thru woods, gorges, on my right side I had the sea, deep under, and on the other things to secure my steps. Not always. This winter with huge waves, enormous amount of sea water, winds and all that stuff damaged lots of paths. I walked one yesterday and it was a black trail, I mean really. In few places there were only waterfalls and few slippery stones. Or a branch. I mean really… So be careful everybody! My Island is constantly changing. And this is so scary and so emotionally beautiful. So…

Normal.

But still, when you got to live a very regular life with all those little routines… it is the scariest thing here… changes. Sooo, please spring, be gentle with me. I have only this Island, and I love her!

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I will not go to Heaven…

Oh my Mother Island!

I have heard this so many times. All those phrases, all those words. All those “you must”, because if not, you will not go THERE. Especially as a kid. And you know what? I never got it? Because if not, so what? Hell or purgatory.

Both seem fun.

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I still remember myself playing in the woods, alone and not alone, all those ghosts, spirits, fairies… forbidden things, you should not see or be able to touch. All those stories… chants. Me between rocks and trees. i felt so in a right place, and then… churches. Oh yes, I am aware that most of them were built in a places already saint for those BC, but still. That smell, and fear… nope, nej tak.

As I was growing up I got it, that I was wild pagan all my life. Yup, ages ago it was not that fun and freedom. Especially in Poland. Still it is not normal there… but me, because of those woods and love to being alone, somehow manged. But I was also a nice, polite kid, so did what Mamma wanted me to. Always more aware of others happiness than myself. Nasty stuff. But still, I grow up, got my freedom. And I still do not get Heaven. It is such boring stuff. Sitting and singing. Wearing wings, and white – I prefer black – and when you look into Islamic heaven… oh yes, male Muslims got it, but ladies… still it sucks, so why do you all believe in it?

Am I afraid of dying?

Of course, it is something… oh yes, I have already done it. Not to the end, but still, 3 times. And it was calm, amazing, somehow free feeling, so in fact all I am afraid off is my Husband dying first, all, so… Yeah, no Heaven for me, but maybe some woods, rocks, books and ancient stuff there? In fact, please stop telling me, that you know what is THERE! Nope, never. Even if you died and came back, it still was not that.

For now I am planing to staying on my Island with my Husband, as ghosts… and pissing you all!!! LOL

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