July

I did not even noticed it is July.

When, how…

…. what is wrong with this year… I mean more wrong, you know. Disaster after disaster… no hope. Pain. Too much… But still, it is a next month and it means not much to me, except checking if I wrote down a proper date.

Really… and the heat… hate it truly.

But to be honest, now I think it can be always wrong. Even if pain is awful, both this emotional and this physical… when you can not somehow keep pieces of yourself together… it can be worse.

Life recently is a shit… so eat ice cream if you can and want to. Sleep longer if you can… fuck, everything is “if you can”. Again we are coming back to freedom and responsibility… but to be honest, there is no freedom, sooo… maybe responsibility sucks too? Maybe it is only something created by media? Because things you know, to follow your heart, take care of love ones and not hurting others even if you really wanna smack that guy driving so slowly… maybe he just feels so bad that can not go faster, soo… do not shoot him, just carefully check if he is only slow, and move on.

Because somehow suddenly all lives matter except mine.

My life matter too!

Or maybe not? I should not question it, right? I should not but a mix of scientist and artist is the worst. Too much thinking. Too much overthinking!!!

Too much!!!

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