Everyone of us have those BIG dreams.
You know, those so important, that you dream about them, do everything for them to happen. For real. To be real.
Sooo… what happens when they happen?
I mean they change status from pending into done?
When you are me… there is a fear. Huge fear. Weird fear. Fear which normal brains do not get. But when you have depression, Asperger, stages of fear and autism, well… this is how it can work. Dreams suddenly being the truth… done make me… nope, they create a hole in my life, thoughts.
Just because it is me.
Like this boat… covered in the past… but except my past there is also this really ancient past. But archaeologists somehow live between ages.
Somehow. And it is normal for us. But probably not for all of us, still… for those obsessed ones yes.
Every layer of the paint is still here.
Under but also visible.
Not brushed, because what for?
We can not be ashamed of the past if it taught us something if it made us better or only… we survived it. Sooo…
There are also dreams.
Many of them I forgotten. Really. I am so sure there were dreams which for me from the past were such a MUST, and now they make me laugh.
But there were always dreams which never changed.
There will be a story about one of them soon. But you got to give me 63 days. You know… I just do not want to make it now. Come out from my dreamy closet. I have Narnia there, and all Tolkien’s worlds and GOT even, because I loved it before it was famous, and of course the Earth here is flat, and we have elephants and a turtle.
Yup… all fantasy books… Dragonlance is in a basement with lands created by Mercedes Lackey LOL