The city…

Started to writing this post, and a documentary by Netflix turned on… about addictions. But in fact, wait, not addictions, more like stimulators. And suddenly I was like: WTF. How much in fact I run away, how far away I stepped from this modern world when I started my small experiment about Bronze Age…

OMMI Like light years? Really? Is it now, that everyone has ADHD? Everyone is sick? There is no healthy person? I mean really? Why nobody sees it differently? That this world made us to need that shit? Because yes, I am addicted to nasty stuff too… I do not rink alcohol, coffee, I do not take drugs or smoke, I exercise and try to avoid stress, but even I have anxiety and depression. And I do not consider it a sickness. Yup. I have it in my genes, so you can not cut it off… you, or me here, just suffer. Especially when in the city. Between houses, or more like… between people. With my not existing self esteem, oh yeah, this is the fucking hell.

Still… so amazing.

When you come to Copenhagen, and luckily find a parking space – sorry can not ride on a bike from Bornholm, I am not Jesus!!! You can walk. But even if you walk, oh that joyfulness… oh yes, a bike can ride you over.

Or knock you…

Splendid.

But still… all those canals, waves, boats, colors, old stuff combined beautifully with some new stuff. Weird feeling of freedom, princesses and knights…

Oh yes, it is amazing. And fairy tale like. Hans Christian is here still somewhere… not only on postcards. But still, I am writing those memories and listening, earlier passing Christiania… yup, like a virgin there, totally… if you do not know what it is, just google, so suiting to this what I am listening to.

But again… strolling.

PS. The documentary is called “Take Your Pills”.

Still walking.

Amazing sun, I bet a regular human being would be amazed but I know that I am here only because my Husband is by my side. Because recently I can not go out alone… again. My record of my life is over a year…

Yeah… so maybe it is a sickness? A kind of illness? Maybe just a disfunction. Fear combined with sadness… or maybe just me?

I mean really…

Maybe in fact this is this world?

Maybe in fact there is nothing wrong with me except some weirdness, only this everything around is just too quick? Maybe… look, I am in the city, me living now between the field and a small woodland, the sea and more trees. Me, the one who escaped from the big city, who in fact had all those possibilities. And chose the island. Who is so unaware of so much going on around…

Who can not get how someone can be bored, and have nothing to do.

But maybe living in a city… maybe the city makes it all more frightening? For me for sure. Trees get me so much better.

And yes, they can talk!!! I am addicted to them. Addicted to my Island, to my tea, archaeology, stone carvings, bears, books… and few pills a day. They do not stimulate me. They take away some ear, but only a small part of it. Maybe I should consider something bigger, but what if it change me? What if I loose control? What if… I mean really, I addict so easily, also has it in my DNA. In fact closed doors and woods work on me so much better. But finally, I got to open my laptop and suddenly it changes.

So bye… turning off.

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