Hope

Sorry, but I hate hope. I mean really. Hate thins feeling… but from the other side, can not live without it, right? Got to see something in that fucking tunnel. Just have to. Because if not, I will stay here, in this darkness…

Forever.

But still… I prefer to see everything in dark, grey shades. Before something happens I wanna see all nastiest, worst endings. All disasters able to happen. Even dragons, end of the world, cyborgs coming, zombies… I wanna imagine it and keep it inside of me, and then… have a nice surprise.

That it was not THAT BAD!!!

So sorry, but I hate hope.

Shit, why the heck I am sorry for that? I even stopped believing in karma. Because I look around, and nasty people have good, fulfilled lives, and those good ones go to jails for bread, so… no hope, you are not for me, but still, you are here, aren’t you? You are always here. Somehow you are only pain and disappointment, but still… you are here!!! Why? Why the heck I can not move you out from my life?!!

PS. Hope, I know you will come here… it is not about you LOL

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