I have it in me… again.
That weird, strong and paralyzing, but also in the same time shaking all my body, choking me. I can not breath, in fact, I do not know what to do with myself, how to fight it… it just happens and all I can do is breath, or try to go out and take photos. But this time squatting and lying head down did not help…
Maybe it is this wind?
Or maybe, what is more possible, I have feelings… visions in me. You know, all hat stuff psychiatrist got pills for.
That something is coming, something will happen, something… and because the most annoying thing about me is this, that I am always right, so I am right. Correct, and totally true. Something is coming.
I have this fear.
Weird, but also sometimes creative, because even scared, and shaky, all I wanna do is to work. To not think about it… exercise, get tired. It does not help, but can make me survive it. Can… but will this time? Maybe not? Maybe finally, this will stay forever. And will never go away. It always shuts me. That it can not end this time. And… when you are someone who has eating disorders, who feels better when cuts herself or burns, or who has depressions and stages of fear since being a kid… it is something what can be very dangerous. But… most of artists got it, right?
So… remember you can buy my art. It can help me get better pills!!! LOL Do not look at prices, just look at paintings, and just ask me if the price can be different. It is easy. Or my photos from here, my Facebook Kobaltowa Wrona, IBornholm and blog bornholmdifferent.dk – it is only 150DKK, paypal, and you will get a photo to print it however you want it. Or maybe you will frame it and have OOAK gift? For someone you love or hate… have just feelings for.
PS. Here have something tasty and optimistic… fish and chips from Svaneke!!! Awesome. And you eat them looking at the sea, lighthouse, and the sky. Just omnomnomnomnnnnnnnn.