Playing and partying… PPP

… never.

I think I never got it.

And will never get it. See, as a kid I hated other kids, I was forced to play with them, to pretend… it never ended nicely. If there was only a way, I was easily running away. They were just playing so weirdly! I mean playing home, kids, family. Mum and dad… pieces of life I never understand.

Adult things seeing with closed eyes.


Later it was not better.

Loneliness was easy.

You can not hurt anyone if you are alone. And finally, you can play as you want to. Walk, read, work… because work is a play sometimes too.

There always had to be this weird “ordnung” in my life. So partying was not the option too. Somehow too much noise, too much people, touching, alcohol – I never learn to like it or coffee, so I was always one of those still saber. Being unable to control, people, weird acts, nope, I could not find myself in it. And drunk ones could not normally play with me… so, I was that funbraker.

If I was born today, I could be diagnosed as ADHD and Asperger… but in the old days, it was just… being me.

And a third P… well praying. I mean really. I am not good in it too. Never was… Maybe I just have problems with Ps? LOL


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