Painting, what is it? How it happens to someone?

It just happens.

Sorry, but this is how it is. Some of us do it since childhood, some were killed in this sphere, when informed: you can not do it. Some… See, if you look for expression your feelings, stories in your head, you wanna let your brain go into your fingers, cushions or just fingers, when you wanna take out fears from yourself… you find tools. One of them can be painting. If you find a right brush. If you touch it. It does not matter, than ages ago you looked at friends, and thought: nope, i can not do it…

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If you feel a need, you find it, and often you start from painting. Just playing, then maybe disappearing for hours, having every piece of pants and shirts in spots. Just because… you discovered something new. New to do, but also new inside of you. But very often those in to painting, also check cameras. It is not a secret that now I paint less and you can catch me taking photos for hours. I can spend day by day just outside, finding paintings… already made. Already created!!! It includes a lot of exercises, squats and stretches, lot of walking, lot of breathing heavily, but still…

I miss painting.

Just that sitting in front of canvas, the smell, my hands moving, but still… I can not. I have no idea why, I am trying. I need it. I am slowly coming back. But what will happen with this huge come back? Who cares. My demons wanna get out!!!

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