Do not care, do not mind… let your feet go.
… put on your shoes and take some water, just in case. And go. Feet know what to do, trust me. All you can do is trust them, and let the rest of you body follow them. Do not push, because it may make you fall, do not try to go in two sides in one time! Just follow your feet. And legs and knees. And the rest. Because it is just amazing. Going, walking, rushing a bit or getting slower. Up and down. On a simple path, road or maybe some climbing even? And stopping from time to time.
Walking. Simple and for free. Exceptional exercise! Perfect fun. You may think that only your legs move, but in fact whole body works like a perfect machine. Feel it. Feel how perfect you are too! And be ready for thoughts. Deep thoughts and silly one too, some songs in your head may turn on, or weird stories…
Because walking make you smarter! LOL
The best thing in walking is… someone who will take you back. Someone waiting for you there, who will let you just go until you pass out, walking without just think about: I got to keep some strength to come back home. So remember about it, if you let your feet lead you! Just remember.
We even had few raindrops… only few, not enough to make this hard soil dark and living again, but… wind.
I am sitting on my doorstep and breathing it in. And listening, because winds tell the best stories ever! I mean really! Try it once!
Listen to the wind, which had been everywhere before, and will be there again. Which in a second can move my pots, or just run around with few leaves. Listen to all those stories about giants, and tiny humans, about mermaids, and those, who are just perfectly good… because there is few of them.
And listen about lands which are still hidden and those who live there. They can watch us, and cry over our stupidness. There are creatures living, about our minds already forgotten. Beings which we decided to not care about… There is also a Shop with those Unneeded. Those Forgotten. And of course… there is also a place for every one of us. If we decide to… think more. And use imagination!
Winds can sing you songs which will be created in centuries, or those which were created in another worlds. Also those parallel ones. They can make you cry, laugh, they can make you feel again… so be certain if you decide to listen…
I mean really?
But what if I do not agree? What if my mind decided to give me more options? Maybe even 3? What if I can think? What if?
Of course I am. For me there is never just one answer. Look at apples. I mean really look at them. Simple apples. And not only because I was at the Æbledag på Melstedgård. I mean really. This is a lovely, every year fun here… in Melsted. Just normal. For me funny, because things here called old, are just still used in a Middle Europe… But most of it, it is an Apple Day! And I saw apples. Not many, but still… and veggie and honey and lovely roasted almonds in sugar…
See… apples are cool.
Tasty, healthy and fresh. Sometimes acidic a bit, but… look at those shapes, colors and kinds. Look at them and smell them. There are memories inside of me waking up when I breath apple spirit. Oh my… apple pie, crumbles, juices and preserves. Apples. So simple, but now so… not ordinary.
They are always one and only… Like humans. Or maybe like humans used to be? Apples can answer so many questions. Like: to eat or not to eat… eat of course. To smell or not, or maybe to be so flashy or not… Or maybe to be easy or not easy to be pilled off? Right, this is important, when it comes to humans. I mean not Hannibal Lecter like!!! Come on, I was talking about feelings, but now…
I think only about “Silence of the lambs”!!! LOL
Sooo I am selfish? Why? Because I run away from stories? From all this sadness and mess the world through Internet is…
Because I do not have phone and do not check it every minute to find out if there was another explosion? Because I do not know? Because I do not get people only being excited when something nasty happens? Watching all the news to see blood and tears and then in fact being… in fact mourning? For me this is just sick.
I am not selfish, I am just trying to live.
To survive in the world of sad news. Because you know, sad sells. Why I do not pray? Well… I do, but I have no church no hymns, no psalms. All I have is The Mighty Outside. And Quietness and Leaves. And stones, trolls and all that stuff. Nope, no organization, no popes, no bishops or something like this…
Sooo… do I not care? Of course I care that someone died, but all I can do is… nothing. I have no right to wear black after him because it was someone I didn’t know. His family is in a deep sadness and his friends. I am not. Does this mean I am mean and selfish? Maybe. I recently started to get it that people have no respect for definitions. Just none.
I remember the days when we took care of each other. Friends, family, neighbors… just normality. I remember when this was more important than stuff from abroad. And now you are telling me it was wrong… well… I will go out. And not think about it. It is much healthier. Maybe you finally find some brain in that stupid, filled with labels head and remind yourself I am in fact your family. And you forgot about me.
Because I am not THE NEWS.
Finally it is here!!!
And you know what?
This year it looks a bit more manly to me. Like a fat, funny, bearded man. LOL Dressed in colorful tights and having tiny wings too. I know it is weird, but this is what I feel. Jumping around, singing, playing with leaves. Of course he has small easel and lots of paint and is always ready to make something or someone more colorful.
Because why not? Autumn is rich and funny, smells like apples and freshly baked pie… and can be a boy too. Maybe not fully grown up man, but still, funny one. Finally someone not judging you, finally just smiling, always ready to walk, dance and sing, and have another chocolate!!!
Of course he can cook, but also paint and tell stories and be ready here when you get scared, because darkness came… he is here to make you smile, make you feel special, and also… a bit more self-confident. Got no idea how he does it, but yeah, Mr Autumn can do it this year!!! So go out and meet him! He has cookies!
Oh yes, that heat wave almost killed me! Those were awful 2 weeks, but at least I caught some cool colors! I mean really cool! But now… I am so breathing again! Because the outside is no longer a perfect picture of the hell. Yeah, that one Hell. You know from the Bible. With boiling pots full of tar and filled with sinners! Screaming sinners, which now really hate summer! I bet they do.
Or maybe… what if they like the heat?
Sooo… yeah, the weather is really for art now!
So much better, when paint is not just swimming, instead it stays on a brush… or my camera is not all wet and sweaty! Oh yes, awesome time!
I mean really? Do I?
Or I do not?
Or maybe I am just so confused because of the FULL MOON and wind, that I am unaware anymore?
Maybe should I?
Should I not?
Is it too much for a middle aged woman, or not enough for someone walking around, talking to herself and of course cuddling bears?
Maybe I must?
I mean really, maybe?
Just because here ice cream shops are closed for winter, so I should have at least 10 scoops today, because of the moon, the wind and THE ME LOL
Yeah I hear it often. What does it mean? Do I poop the other way, or not breathing the right side? Am I walking on my eyelashes? Oh… I know what you mean, but I prefer not to see it, not to hear it, but I know… I do not have kids. Yeah. I do not get it why it is so painful for so many of you? I mean really. Met only few getting it. And it is painful for me when I look at your kids, that you treat them as something stopping you from…
Normal life does not include painting, touching old rocks and old bones. Reading too much and of course not being a spoiled brat, right? Oh and being of course tired of the whole family. This is what usually people say about their lives. And I do not get it. Lucky for me some of you do not also have this NORMAL LIFE too. And you smile, eat ice cream, look at the sky… Of course we all pay taxes and live in the same world, but still… we look at this a bit different, right? A bit? I think this is it…
I love people who are able to look at this world not like something you got to struggle with. Not the all pure evil, but something more. Something we can change, play with, just smile to. Who… love a leaf… can talk to a flower, who cuddle with trees and can just sit on the ground, not looking for a comfy chair… who are living even if some of others do not really get it! LOL
PS. Do you know how often I hear: You never really lived, You know nothing about life from people… in fact knowing nothing about me… POOP
I somehow watched this documentary by accident. Somehow… about ladies of Mosuo. After of course I hit the books and internet… http://www.mosuoproject.org/main.html which is now not available, I do not get it why…
And have some thoughts!
1. Come on people, if you harm no one, live as you wish.
2. China scares me!!!
Oh yes, definitions.
Sorry people, or more just ladies because only we care, this is kind of slutty to sleep with different humans every night. It is. This world created definitions to communicated. This is also not normal, because this world created some normality, and it is not bad too. But… yeah, there is a but too, as usual! As someone who is totally not normal, regular and suiting this world, stop being ashamed because you have a culture. I mean really!!! Breath! This is your culture. No marriage, matriarchy and all that stuff. not being ashamed of who you are, what you look like, being naked… There is nothing wrong with it! Breath and live ladies of Mosuo! You do not force others to be like you so live as you want. But when it comes to definitions… sorry but you loose.
… definitions are. They were created, they somehow like that crazy Atlas keep us above… it does not mean you got to suit them – or some of them, right – but still do not call them bad. They are what they are… definitions. We can proof them, that they are wrong or not, but still…
And yeah… I looked it to the end, and heard all those men saying how cool it is that you can fuck and have no responsibility, so… nope, I think there is something wrong with it.
Read about them. I mean really. It is interesting, striking, but also a bit depressing. Read about them before this world wipes them form maps…
Sometimes all you wanna do is nothing. Of course you are ready for it, you are, and prepared for it. You read about it, there were books which titles you do not remember, but you know there they were there in the past and of course those movies showing people just lying down watching TV… Oh well, have no TV, so… how to do it properly? Just lying down will be okay?
I think so…
I have no fancy bed or chair so I will use my floor. I love my floor. Dreaming about making it woody, but for now no cash, so sorry, I will take my blanket. I like a hard floor better than a puffy bed, so… A simple blanket. I mean nothing fancy and made of wool coming from unicorns asses. Nope. Just a simple, plain blanket, and I think I can do it. I will be watching the ceiling. No TV, so this could be better, or maybe the window and the sky… this can be even more perfect! LOL
So I am ready… you are ready, you put your body on a blanket and then… ideas come! And everything ends before it was even started.
It happens always when you feel it, that you can just rest, take a huge, long, deep nap… just be…
Always. When you think your mind lacks of creativity! LOL