Little things

I love post.

Writing letters, cards, choosing them, thinking who would love what, should it be a photo or a drawing… and small things putting into envelops. Bigger packages. Oh my, I love sending them!


And finding small things…

… matching them to people, personalities, hobbies. Just because I care? Or maybe it is my private OCD? Or maybe because I love little things. And memories surrounded around them. Like this pencil. Simple, black, with few runes on it and a tiny silver helmet in the top… viking one!

I noticed that I fell uncomfortable with expensive stuff, and sorry but it is so ugly! Sorry, but look at those bags with fancy labels! Geee… because of my little anthropo-archeological experiment, I do not recognize the labels. So if you try to impress me with your big watch, well… I see only a watch, ugly, goldish, and weird… it scares me, go away! I mean it! Stop flashing me with that fake crystals!

I am swimming, in my mind, in all those ancient symbols and still… when I look at this modern world, I see nothing. No tags, no labels. I got no idea what all those logos mean. Nope, nothing. Prices? No idea… I am a little thing. And I love little things. They are easier to hide, and easier to loose, so… after you cry not so little tears, you just find new little things. Little…

Life is a little thing. Precious and easy to loose… but still, sometimes you can find it back. Just if you need to, you can. But when it comes to canvas… well I love them huge! I love them splashy! I love them big, but not enormous.



Grey weather

Grey weather makes colors pop. Grey weather, gloomy even, makes all those autumnal leaves jump out from the grass, paths and roads. Somehow they sparkle. Somehow they are also almost neon like.


Grey weather always shows ow important is… the background. How it matters, how it can make everything richer or smaller. Suddenly this that you are wearing red is much more important. And black makes you finally be the deepest of the deep…

And everything rocks!

You can not underestimate the background.


Sometimes the background is the key to everything… and sometimes it is not, and why the heck every ray of light wakes up angry flies? I mean really! End of October, go sleep! Nope, do not sit on my brush!!! Go away!!! LOL


Paint less…

I do paint less.

Somehow recently photography is much more important. Makes me spend so much time with a camera, that I have no enough power to hold my brush… but I need to paint. I need it. There is a part of me drying out, shivering… oh yes, of course I am into loosing few pounds, but not there!!! LOL


I need my brushes, paint, I need to get dirty… I have ideas, visions, legends to paint out from myself… but when?

What if the answer is never? Maybe it ended? But… really? Or maybe like most of people, I just switched? Or maybe the great come back is just around the corner?


Does it really matter how you express your arty side? Are photographers less than painters? Or maybe less than those carving stones? Or maybe there is no difference. There is only this need to take this out from my inside… my soul. Just to take it out, and of course make place for some new. Because there is that see bubbling inside of me, sprouting and making tiny bubbles which just got to go out and burst into something… something maybe explainable only for me, but still…

But why outside? Why do we need to express this into a visible or hearable form? Why? To be pat on shoulders? Or maybe there is something unexplained?


Soooo yellow…

I mean really.

I keep seeing yellow or yellow with some red also called orange! I keep seeing it everywhere and I do not mean leaves. I mean nope. Not flowers too. Somehow my poor Island is still struggling with drought so… nope. Not fancy jackets or newest models of some fancy, expensive bags, nope…




See, because my Island is here in the middle of the Baltic Sea some of the birds flying to the south, just stop here. They stop here really tired, just to rest, just to gather some strength and fat. Just to look around maybe too… just to have a nap. Just to wander around, maybe have ice cream or a chocolate? One of them is amazingly colorful fuglekong! In Poland this bird is called mysikrólik zwyczajny… weird thing, here a king, there just mousy-rabbit? LOL

Can you see him? And his yellow stripe on the top of a tiny head? So precious! Such a little one, but so strong. Amazing metaphor of life.


And you know what, I found a whole tribe of those.

Must say mine birds were really crazy, and not easy to catch. I mean catch with a camera of course! We were informed that if we find one, one very tired and on the ground we should take him, feed with butter or nutella and then let him go.

Nice diet, right? LOL


More yellow?

Of course in my garden. FOUR robins! I mean four!!! So how can I stop thinking about yellow. In yellow even… I got to paint something in yellow. Just got to. There is a weird need in me, a very weird need.

Very… oh stop looking at me like that, just stop! I know humans are weird. Nope, thank you, no worms for me. But thank you!


Calm Island

When season ends I am finally and truly me. I can forget about weird people from abroad trying to talk with me, I can finally be less scared of Germans always pissed off because I have my earphones and am not ready to hear about their problems… Yup, weird thing but few weeks ago I was attack by an elderly pair. They were looking for a is geschenk. Whatever weird language they tried to make, I was working taking photos and I am not there to make you all happy. And yes, it is not that hard to find ice cream here. It is a tiny village! But when they surrounded me, and started to touch me… why the heck people got to touch me when I am taking a photo of a cormorant?!!! Well, of course I smiled, took earphones out and gently showed them where to go…Yes of course I can help you, but stop yelling at me only because I am not ready for it, I am busy and in fact very concentrated on my work. I can not to care in this moment!

… but…



Recently tourists got nastier. Somehow they think that everyone living here should make their life precious and happy, and always to be for them. There is a subtle line between helping hand and a nasty someone yelling at me that I MUST do it. Yelling, when I really can not hear them… They got more trashy too. And… so always tired and uninterested. Sorry, but if you want disco go to Majorca! Here we have nature!

Sooo yeah…

In two weeks they all will be gone, and finally I can go out without my brave pills! YAY! Maybe.

I hope…

Because if someone is running away from you, dear humans, do not follow him or her. Just do not! There are other people, lots of them… why do you always choose the wounded one to bully? You feel it, right? You see that fear, and you know it will be an easy hunt. Well… beware, wounded one can bite too.


When I am sleeping…

Even when it is a nightmare, I love it!

Even wen I am so scared that I… get wet, still it was wort it because dreaming is the best. Awesome and amazing. It is all included, all can happen, and my body… well my body reacts like when I have my eyes open.


For me sleep is the most amazing fun and time to heal but also a time for adventures and… oh my, sometimes I think that I could just stay in my bed forever. Just because dreams live there, and they let me to join them. It is like the most amazing experience… simple dreaming. Simple sleep.

Nowadays people do not appreciate sleep. They choose to have their phones next to them, to get up at night and even check Facebook! Are you kidding me? Why? What for? Why you do not let your brain have this awesome time to clean up. To put every thought into a right drawer? Why? Why now it is so not fancy to sleep. Sleep enough, in a fresh bed and of course without blimping things around?

I am old enough to remember those days when we had time to work, time to sleep and time to have fun. maybe not much, but yup, we did. And then we were informed that technique and all modern things will improve our lives and of course we will have more time for fun… well, they lied!!! So nope, I trust no one. I trust my dream which let me be a unicorn or gather electric torches from a river, deep into a sandy hole… yeah, and then there was a detective.. Yeah. How awesome is dreaming, and that thing, that even weird stuff is, when dreaming, very normal, regular and of course… logical!

Oh and I have my doggy in my dreams, and my home, dreamed home, and a brown bear riding a bicycle!!! FOR FREE.


Rain rain rain…

I love rain.

Somehow it really makes me feel okay. Somehow I feel hidden, and in fact not so exposed to the world… I love rain. Those wet drops dancing on my windows. Maybe watching me, or maybe just being not interested?


I love rain.

The sound, the smell… this wetness. Even if I got to run to catch my laundry drying outside, even if, I can skip for a moment and dance with this rain. Because why not? Who said it is not for me? Who? You? Oh well, you got to live with it! And do not look at my wet shirt, nothing to see here! Really nothing, I am so after that age of some fresh young boobs. And yeah… it is cold. This is mighty October, which finally let us feel less windy! Thank you so much! And a bit more steady.


… here is the rain! And we do need it! Sorry, but we still have drought. Rivers on my Island are only tiny streams, and our amazing waterfalls are still turned off! So… let it rain, let it even rain more, I will blow on my laundry! And then I will try something new… I will paint something and put it outside. To make the rain my coworker.


Don’t eat it!

You will get fat! Yummy things and your ass is growing…

How often you hear it?

How often you see it written under your photos? I mean really, especially social media are full of that shit. Oh, of course people saying that DO NOT CARE for your health or good being, they just…


Oh yes, what? Why and what for they do it? Why do you, all nasty people are always soo ready to make me sad or pissed off, do it for? Are you feeling fun? Do you know I am poor and for me yummy food is not everyday? It is special, but well… Oh yes, you have always one answer when I say it: I DID NOT KNOW THAT! You know what? This is not a response I was waiting for. Because you tried to pretend YOU KNOW ME so well. And now suddenly it should all be okay, I should feel happy and blooming, because you are a fucking, always ready to stomp on somebody ass?

Or those people always ready to explain me how world is going on! These are worst even from those Christians! I mean really. Nope, I do not show off my intelligence. Why? Because I noticed people DO NOT LIKE IT! Yeah, I was that wonder kid! But I decided to just stay crazy and not work for some weird company… and nope if someone misspells something, I sit quiet. If someone asks me a question, i will gladly answer, but if not… I will not write under his or hers photo that water is H2O! Because most of people know it! I am also not informing you all about my discoveries when it comes to symbolism of Bronze Age because most of you do not care about the past. And THIS IS OKAY! You can know nothing about that. Archaeology is not for everyone. Same with Egyptology, ethnology and cultural anthropology. And history… although you all should read some about it, because it repeats. Always!!! Still… I am over people explaining me what i ALREADY KNOW. I start to think, that all those weirdos think that people born in Poland are uneducated. Well, you all should read more, or maybe you should at least check one subject: ENIGMA!

I just had too…

There is something wrong going on with all of you. Always ready to be teachers, never… to just sit and listen, and to know the person. Empathy is dying! Or maybe… died already. It is a scary alternative.


I like them!

I noticed that I like weird things. I mean really. Weird aromas, tastes… views, colors even. Or maybe people too?

I must say, I really strongly believe that everyone has right to like/love what he or she feels. I mean really. I know this world around us is so weird and suddenly a guy who chooses those blond and long legged girls is called a racist, but I think he just prefers his girls in this shape. Just because we all have feelings, minds, brains… some of us may not use them, but still we have them! And we can love heat or ice cream. Cold or hot chocolate! And there is nothing wrong with it! Nope, no way…

I love wild, tasty and weird. And cold! I love cold! And…


I think people trying to forget that we are separate beings, and it is impossible to change that unless… we start to lie… and lying sucks! I mean really. Try, when you love winter, stay in a hot bath… especially with other people, and you really hate closeness and touching! Try it… nope, not for us!

I love things which are weird, different and blue. I love things which are not loved. Broken even, but recently I figured out I hate used. They always got so many spirits inside. No used rings and furniture! NEVERMORE!!! LOL

Those weird days are… insane. People try to think like others, walk like them, and there is no fun in it, not like with Ministry of Silly Walks! I mean really humans? why you keep those brains for zombies? I love nature, but nope, nono… killing the flies and not feeding zombies. They are not bears!!! LOL


The woods



Different kinds of trees and stones of course, flowers, mushrooms and birds of course. Weird sounds in the bushy bush. And that blue stuff above me. Simple path, just walking and… I feel better. I go up and down, climb on rocks, then fall… but I feel better. Of course i am still scared, I can see weirdness and horrors behind every tree stump, behind every shadow, but I feel better…


The woods.

A place where I feel the best. Where I wanna get tired, sweaty but also amazed. And I always get it. Sometimes I just wanna go and not to come back even if I notice two tiny summer cottages standing in the deep woods. Not so old, but spooky. So many horrors about cottages in the woods, too many… and that crack in the rocks, and trees watching me, and no birds there and heads under my feet… Okay, I know there were stones and grass weirdly formed but still it looked like heads…

See… with my imagination you can not just stay calm and quiet. Nope, never!!! LOL And you never get bored… But living without the woods? I think it could be more than impossible. Even more impossible. No trees, paths, stones, leaves, sounds, shadows and of course all those whispers, unicorns, dwarfs and elves, nope, not for me. When I see photos of big cities. All those skyscrapers and weirdly soulless buildings… I am even more scared than ever.