Sick sick sick

Do you know how much expression you can discover when you sneeze on you finished painting?

Do you?

How amazing everything looks when you have fever and all the colors just dance in front of you, chat and tell weird stories?

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Do you?

Or do you know that feeling, when you suddenly fall asleep… on canvas.

Yeah… I am sick.

And there is something exotic in painting when feverish. When shaky and snotty. Something different. And maybe also… something psychotic? You know not exactly arty, more like visions coming out, putting you into your bed, and doing all the work for you.

Life have so many fun… when you let yourself to be crazy.

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Spring

Oh yes. It is here… YAY – sarcastically. Sorry, I miss my winter, but, this is how it goes, right? Flowers, grass, leaves, fruits, rotten, sleeping, and again. Circle of life, which recently humans do not get really.

I mean really.

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Sooo.

Hello spring.

Have fun.

To make a little celebration, I walked for over 4 hours for you, thru woods, gorges, on my right side I had the sea, deep under, and on the other things to secure my steps. Not always. This winter with huge waves, enormous amount of sea water, winds and all that stuff damaged lots of paths. I walked one yesterday and it was a black trail, I mean really. In few places there were only waterfalls and few slippery stones. Or a branch. I mean really… So be careful everybody! My Island is constantly changing. And this is so scary and so emotionally beautiful. So…

Normal.

But still, when you got to live a very regular life with all those little routines… it is the scariest thing here… changes. Sooo, please spring, be gentle with me. I have only this Island, and I love her!

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I will not go to Heaven…

Oh my Mother Island!

I have heard this so many times. All those phrases, all those words. All those “you must”, because if not, you will not go THERE. Especially as a kid. And you know what? I never got it? Because if not, so what? Hell or purgatory.

Both seem fun.

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I still remember myself playing in the woods, alone and not alone, all those ghosts, spirits, fairies… forbidden things, you should not see or be able to touch. All those stories… chants. Me between rocks and trees. i felt so in a right place, and then… churches. Oh yes, I am aware that most of them were built in a places already saint for those BC, but still. That smell, and fear… nope, nej tak.

As I was growing up I got it, that I was wild pagan all my life. Yup, ages ago it was not that fun and freedom. Especially in Poland. Still it is not normal there… but me, because of those woods and love to being alone, somehow manged. But I was also a nice, polite kid, so did what Mamma wanted me to. Always more aware of others happiness than myself. Nasty stuff. But still, I grow up, got my freedom. And I still do not get Heaven. It is such boring stuff. Sitting and singing. Wearing wings, and white – I prefer black – and when you look into Islamic heaven… oh yes, male Muslims got it, but ladies… still it sucks, so why do you all believe in it?

Am I afraid of dying?

Of course, it is something… oh yes, I have already done it. Not to the end, but still, 3 times. And it was calm, amazing, somehow free feeling, so in fact all I am afraid off is my Husband dying first, all, so… Yeah, no Heaven for me, but maybe some woods, rocks, books and ancient stuff there? In fact, please stop telling me, that you know what is THERE! Nope, never. Even if you died and came back, it still was not that.

For now I am planing to staying on my Island with my Husband, as ghosts… and pissing you all!!! LOL

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Can you live…

Oh those question!!!

Another thing which I hate similar to all those stupid, totally obvious, sentences put on floral, lovely calming photos, people share on social media is… can you live without internet, phone, Ipad etc. for 6 million dollars in the woods, for a month.

Really?

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WTF!!!?

Just shut up and give me this money!!! What the stupid, irrational question. Of course I can live there. Internet? This is just job, and sometimes easier way to reach friends which I will never see in person. Internet or social media are only to find someone in fact like me, hating internet, phones, loving woods, paper, pencils, archaeology and books.

Life is simple.

You need clean fresh air, clean water and food, and sorry… for me books and toilet. Yeah, I have been there, in the world where you had to poo with cows, and into a metal bucket… freezing your ass off, so toilet and a shower. TV? What for? I have imagination. I can write myself stories, I can read them, or just imagine something so weird, that it can scare you more than your last electric bill. In fact. If you look around. You will start to think, that you can do it… and then fear comes… because of loneliness?

Oh that mighty, legendary loneliness?

Well, being alone should not be something so hard for you people. If it is, try to train it as muscles! Being scared of being alone, just with yourself means you hate yourself, and it sucks. Because for most of time we are… just alone. Even not lonely, we can be alone. And internet is not helping in fact.

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How are you?

How are you?

Oh yes…

I HATE THIS QUESTION! In fact I never know what the person asking me it, wanna hear. Truth? I doubt it. I really doubt it, I do not wanna say it myself, I do not wanna change my feelings into sounds, I just do not… So what? A lie? A simple lie, which can make the asking fellow feel better. Oh yes… this will be perfect, right? Because i was trained to make everyone happy…

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Oh fuck it!

Maybe I should finally choose simple truth? But what for? What for put this everything dark and gloomy on someone just asking THAT STUPID question. Yes, it is stupid. Why? Well, this person is standing next to me, it got to see I look miserable and should feel… but in fact empathy died long time ago, so…

Yeah, a lie.

The mighty lie.

Fine, thanks.

Feeling better. Now your job is done. You asked, were polite, and have your lie… And you could just say: Hey, I see you look like a shit, is there someone I could kick to make you feel better? Who hurt you? Just tell me, I will make his life miserable… So simple. So different. So saying a lot about the one asking. Because it will make me smile, it will maybe even make me cry with this enormous, joyful gratitude… Of course I will say you do not have to smash his face, he will rotten in the kind of hell I am just creating in my mind. But THANK YOU for asking!

PS. Remember all my photos are for sale!!! It take only 150DKK each (less if you buy more than 3), paypal and your email, and you can print it however you wanna and have them on your wall. Look for photos on IBornholm page and blog, on Miś Śnież – wolność dla pluszaków page and blog and here Kobaltowa Wrona.

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That stone…

In fact it can be every stone.

One with a weird shape, or a hole… yeah, hag stones are awesome! Or maybe piece of wood? Or a leaf. See, it always comes to me – when you paint you think too much – do you still let yourself think of it as a much more than just an object. A nature’s creation? Magic even? How often do you stop and just imagine something…

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Fairy tale like?

How often?

How often you just let your imagination dance, flow, build crazy castles from not existing sand? How often you just are free and totally rich in thoughts?

Because this stone is a jewel from Mermaid’s Queen. See, she lost it in a recent storm, only because she was watching too much TV. Yes, they do not have it down under the waves, but she is often jumping on a biggest rock, close to that white cottage and watches TV thru its windows. She is a stalker, yes. She loves also to watch this family whatever they do… but something for something. It was windy, it was stormy and this stone, amazing, orange mixed with all shades of crystal yellow, fell of her most precious necklace. Is she looking for it now? Maybe… but now, it is in my possession! Does it make me a queen? Maybe now I can call The Mighty Kraken?

Will try it later…

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Damn spring!

Oh yes… this is me. Winter lover!!!

Yup, not even sorry for my feelings. Already missing snow, frost, cold, all those lovely, crystal shapes, those frozen ponds, frozen sea, oh my it can look so fairy tale like… missing everything. Jul too.

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But it came…

Almost spring. YUCK! Happiness and flowers, warmer sun, and all that stuff. Oh and this light all around. Soon bright nights will come and what… I FEEL MISERABLE! Because of spring. Yup. One and only me. Those crocuses and snowdrops are killing me. Literally!!! Trust me, they bite!

Oh where the heck is my winter? Few years ago I remember snow in March. That was so lovely, perfect birthday gift for me!!! But I bet not this year, right? I can see it… everything green happy sprouting… oh that joy and happiness is killing my gloomy soul! I can not stand it. Really. Okay, light is cool, and photos come out amazing, but still… I got to paint out something very wintery.

Cold…

PS. I get it, I grumble. But did you notice that it is okay to grumble on winter, but not on spring or summer? Where the heck is my freedom to grumble when I fee the mood? What? Because it is unpopular… oh go to perkele all of you! LOL

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Letters

Yup, I am not into new technologies. But you know it. Okay, most of you do not believe me, because how can it be possible? Not watching TV, not caring about newest TV series or reality shows? Not having a phone? I pad.  Iever… or even not having a watch, a clock. Of course, there is one in my laptop, I am aware of it, but…

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I use a laptop.

But do you know what I do first? I write stuff on cards, I use pens and pencils. Oh, I love pencils. Just love them. I have Facebook, and Twitter and even Instagram, and what I do? I ask my Husband to transfer photos. Because it sucks touching it… but I love letters. Writing them, sending cards, just being weird this way. Oh come on, epistology has a long roots! Very long, still not so old. When did it started? When more people learn how to write? When they had more ability in reading? In fact that was not that long time ago. We have all those awesome schools since after II WW. Before it was just a beginning.

Just a wish…

And now? Why am I writing about it, well… Danish Post does no longer exist. It was united with PostNord, and someone really enriched himself in this transaction. And now… from a lovely country where post was delivered 6 days a week, with awesome postmen, now… We in fact have no post office on my Island. Nope. Only two places where you can send something bigger. Just a small counter in a shop. And now, because of this “technologication” of Danmark post soon will be delivered only once a week. Can you imagine it?

Can you?

I feel pushed into this technological, new world. Against my will. So, where the heck is my freedom? Where?

PS. And imagine this… none except those who know you, can in fact read your hand write… none can hack it! And you can not get a virus with it. Except blankets, beware of blankets, and packages LOL

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Photos

Oh yes…

Photos.

I can spend hours and not even notice it… if the light is on my side, just leave me alone. I will be happy, quiet, and busy bee! LOL

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It is like discovering another world, hidden inside of my camera. I bet there are those gnomes painting everything so quickly, you know, like in Terry Pratchett’s books. Oh my, these guys are cool, awesome and hard working gnomes. Eating a lot of sweets, but still, they can make it. Because… it can not be me…

Never.

Oh and my Island. I really sometimes think that I only push a button… nothing more. Someone composes waves, colors, leaves or plays with shadows and grass… Because it can not be me, right?

But in fact?

Why do we take photos? To memories? Or to create something new? To complicate life, or just to… what? I have one advice! Take photos. Even if you feel ugly, and wanna say NO… let your kids take it. Just let your son or daughter have you on paper. Please. It helps a lot ages later. A lot.

Happy Ladies Day!

Here is one thought… It sucks that we still got to fight like they, in 1908, 1909… 1911… and since 1914 every 8th March. Thanks Denmark and Russia for this day, but still, why nothing has changed in fact?

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The Mighty Green

How is it?

That green really works always. I mean for most of you, I bet, it is a color which calms you down. Which in fact will make you smile, because it is fresh, and flowery, and leaves and woods…

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I was walking yesterday between foggy branches, wet branches, amazed by green. So fresh here, because on my Island green is always. In moss, in grass, in… on trees. And I felt great. That air, so springy already, a bit wet, perfect for your skin, removing wrinkles and all that stuff, right… LOL I was walking, and could not stop touching it. That wet greenery. That fresh, but steel wintery, so… how is it with winter now? Does winter still let us all fall asleep, or maybe some of us, I mean some of plants, sleep through summer? I could be one of them, really.

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How the heck is it… that in the woods, even if you try to exercise, walk slower quicker, talk a lot, you steel get so refreshed and amazingly free. So normal. So healed. So… yes I get it – trees do it, but how? And why we all do not do it. You know… go out into the woods? Why? Why the heck, why?

Still, it was suppose to be about paintings with foggy green, but why to talk about it, better paint it out, and take few more photos!

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